...the truth hurts...

Non sequitur

2008-05-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

So – I’ve got a lot of things that I’ve been thinking about this week. There is absolutely NOTHING that ties them together – so I won’t try. Welcome to my non sequitur.

First – I live in a Pontiac town. I don’t know what that means, exactly. I mean – I know what it means. A lot of the cars that I see daily are Pontiacs. What I don’t know is what that means. I don’t really have a problem with Pontiacs. I think the front ends are pretty creepy…and I tend to free associate “Pontiac” with “child molester” in my mind. There’s no reasoning for that – just how it happens. Anyway – loads of Pontiacs around me.

Next – when did my yard turn into the frakking animal kingdom? I love animals – I really do. I love all the birds that have made nests around my house – they are loverly to wake up to each and every morning. I love the rabbits and squirrels that I see around my yard daily. What I don’t love – or don’t understand is the rabbit that is digging up my front yard to make a little burrow for her babies. Did she learn nothing from the duck and eggs that were eaten? My front yard is NOT safe! It’s a rabbit – big ears – surely it has heard me MOWING! I think the animals get a false sense of security from my dog. He barks to keep things away…but he cannot attack because he is behind a window? Or maybe they keep making these nests outside his window so that they can tease him. Regardless – bunnies – leave now. It’s not safe. I can avoid mowing for a few weeks while you grow – but I cannot protect you 24 hours a day, nor can my dog. ps – I hate you for digging up my yard…3 times.

Finally – so I’ve been working on my design for the Scottish play at IRT for next season. I am in the stage of super excited. This afternoon we had a fruitful design meeting. I’m working on the model and really eager to see it start heading to the stage. There is always a little bit of magic when I see it go from very little to full size.

One more thing – Indianapolis has been granted the Super Bowl for the year 2012. I had an interesting conversation with some co-workers about this phenomenon this morning. I feel like the NFL is really doing a great thing by allowing different cities to bid for the Super Bowl. Sure, ultimately there is a LOT of money made both by the NFL and players – but it actually does great things for the community. It brings all kinds of revenue to local businesses, it makes the city get its act together since it will be on display – and in the case of Indy it is bringing some great new sports/practice facilities to some local schools that are in desperate need. According to the local news it is this “Legacy Project” that sealed the bid for the NFL owners. So, I think it is a good thing. Sure 2012 is years away – but it is something to look forward to.

Another year over…a new one just begun – but let’s just discuss last week-ish.

2008-05-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

So last was a big week in these here parts. On Tuesday we had the opportunity to vote in the democratic primary. The race has been extremely tight this year between Sen. Barack Obama from Illinois and Sen. Hillary Clinton from New York. I do always take advantage of my right/duty to vote on these types of things. I try to do my own research so as not to get swayed be the barrage of commercials that flood in the days before the polls open. Yay for voting! So, for the first time in my lifetime, Indiana had a primary that counted. Unfortunately I fear that when it comes to the actual presidential election my vote will not count/matter. Thank you outdated Electoral College. Thank you “red” state.

In other news – for those of you that didn’t already know – I am designing at IRT in the fall. Janet Allen has given me the opportunity to design the Scottish Play, which she will be directing. I cannot even being to tell you how excited I am by this opportunity. Monday was scheduled to be the first design meeting, and rest assured I gathered all kinds of research and ideas. Unfortunately I also gathered some type of stomach virus and spent all of Sunday night and most of Monday morning prying myself away from (what felt like) certain death. Janet and the rest of the design team were gracious enough to let me attend the meeting by phone. It was certainly not ideal, but given the circumstances…

Anyway, I am feeling better now. I am still excited about the show (cursed as it is), and I will hopefully get the ball rolling in the rest of the meetings soon.

This week also marks the end of my second year teaching at Franklin College…and they’ve even invited me back for a third year. I don’t know how many people do this – but I frequently look back at “life plans and goals” that I’ve set for myself and see what I’ve actually accomplished. One thing that was not on my list – being a college professor. One thing that was on the list – design for IRT (working on that). Another one that was not on the list – getting married and then maintaining said marriage for nearly 8 years. That’s right – this June will be 8 years!!! It is almost unfathomable – in a good way.

I am continuing to work with iFanboy. I am shooting the promos (advertisements) as part of the weekly video podcast. I am also writing a weekly column for them. It comes out every Friday around 12:00 am EST. Fear not – you can read it in the morning when you wake up.

Beyond that things are mostly status quo here in sleepy town. We are continually hoping and waiting for more 30 somethings to move to Franklin. Clarity – 30 somethings that we want to hang out with. We’ve only lived here for 2 years, but there is the seeming start of a shift to a younger community here. Maybe by the time it is in full swing we’ll be old and people will hope that we shuffle to Florida or wherever old people go.

Cayuga is doing well. He turns five this month. Contrary to popular belief that does NOT equal 35 in dog years. The smaller the dog, the more “regular” the aging, unless you venture into the teacup variety. Thank you vet for filling me in. Anyway, that means that Cayuga is five and acting like he is five. He is still a ball of energy that loves to play and be rambunctious. We love him and spoil him…and certainly don’t help the situation. I guess that is our prerogative as his “parents.”

And finally – our house. Amy is eager to work on the bathrooms and the yards this summer. I am less eager, but I see her point. So hopefully I’ll knock down a wall and get the remodeling juices going again.

And there you have it – a self-indulgent update on my life. And – guess what? I can be self-indulgent because this is my blog. I’ll keep you posted if there’s more. Suckers.

Mario Kart Wii - FINALLY!

2008-05-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

After reading all sorts of previews, reviews and other general hype about this game I could not wait to get it in my hands. Not only was I looking forward to playing the game - but I was also GREATLY looking forward to silencing all the other opinions. I wanted to debunk all the crap. But before I get there, let me tell you my history with the game and why I was so excited to get it.

As many people know the game has a long history. It began in the early 90's with Super Mario Kart on the SNES. This game was fine, and certainly holds plenty of merit, but my true love affair with the series came with Mario Kart 64 for the N64. My roommate, Ron and I would play this (and GoldenEye) nonstop in our college dorm room. We even learned that if you pick a "heavy" player and crank the subwoofer way up, on certain jumps you can really shake the room. As soon as this was discovered it became, for us, the games only purpose. Late one weekday night our downstairs neighbors came upstairs and starting banging on our door…angrily. Apparently Bowser’s landings were not only making our room sake, but actually knocking things off the walls in their room. Oops.

We did become more careful with our hour to volume level ratio – but the game was a staple. We played it ALL. THE. TIME. Sadly, we have both grown up and moved apart. My wife sold my N64 along with the game, so I have been Kart-less for nearly 8 years. Kart-less, until now.

When it came to buying a new video game system, the prospects of this game pushed me to my final decision of a Wii. A decision which I do not regret at all. This game only solidifies my hopes.

I purchased the game and an extra wheel, so that anybody playing it at my house can use the wheel. Actually, I will make the rule that you have to use the wheel. And that brings me to my first point about the game. Much of the hype and many of the reviews talk about the different control options. One can use the wheel (comes with the game), the Wii-mote alone, Wii-mote and nunchuck, or either of the traditional controller options. I’ve read that if you want precision and tight races, use the controller options.

Precision? Tight races? WTF?!?! This is Mario Kart. You’re telling me that I can play with a steering wheel? A wheel that makes it even harder to control – thereby making it more fun? For goodness sake – I didn’t think that this game could get any better.

The wheel is AWESOME. It is absolutely the best thing that could have happened to this game. Now instead of having people mash buttons in an attempt to drive a “kart” around a track, you can look like a complete idiot while steering you “kart” off a cliff. And that is why the wheel is a mandatory rule in my house.

Now – what about the other improvements to the game? Well, to be honest I’ve only been able to play a little bit, so I know I still have plenty of work to do to really figure everything out. But, I can tell you about the second best thing to happen to this game – motorcycles. Sure, they tried this years ago with Diddy Kong Racing – there were no motorcycles, rather it was planes, karts and hovercrafts – but the idea of alternate vehicles were there. The problem was that Diddy Kong Racing sucked. The motorcycles (dirt bikes, scooters and racing bikes) are fantastic – and they are even HARDER to control with the wheel.

The other thing that I think can be potentially great with this game is the ability to race my old roomie Ron, and other friends that have the game. I know that people whine and moan about the “online” play that Nintendo offers – but I have no problem with it. It’s free and fairly easy to do. I have the option to play people I don’t know (bah) or play people I do know (yay). That’s all I really need.

I know that I still have plenty of exploring to do with this game, and I fully intend on doing that. However, I can say that if you have a Wii – and you want something fun – this is a good place to turn. Just remember – it’s fun. Don’t get to heady about it. Precision. Feh. It’s Mario Kart.

Life gets in the way of life.

2008-04-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

This spring has been an interesting one for us. For many years and many houses Amy and I have had backyards. In the spring that leads to all sorts of birds moving in and making nests around the yard. I’ve always enjoyed it because (despite the bird poop) it is nice to hear the chirps and see the new life. But this year lines have been crossed.

For the most part the birds have always made their nests in the trees. We have AMPLE trees in our yard. Occasionally they would find some little sneaky spot on the house – and that was fine, too. Birds, for the most part, seem to be smart enough to steer clear of the areas that are high in human traffic. For the most part.

It started a few weeks ago when Amy was cleaning leaves out of the bushes in the front yard. She disturbed a duck that had made a nest under one of the bushes. I was working on something else when I heard the scream. I looked up to see a pale Amy running to me with a large duck flying behind her. You never really think about how big a duck is until it’s flying out you. Sure, it’s no goose – but it’s also not a robin. Anyway – we quickly got as far away as we could in hopes that mother duck would go back to the nest.

Eventually she did go back to her nest and her eight eggs. I formed a pretty good relationship with mother duck. I gave her plenty of space, and I tried to give her warning if I was going to have to get near. I did my best to let her know that I was no a threat. Eventually – about three weeks after discovery – mother duck was attacked in the night. I’m not sure what attacked, but there were a lot of feathers and eight broken eggs. Maybe it was a cat, or a raccoon – or the neighbor’s dog? I’ll never know. I just wish I could have done something to help.

For a while we were not using the garage – I mean we were using it, but not to park in. So we were not in a routine of opening and closing it daily. Well – that apparently encouraged a robin to make a nest on the light that hangs right next to the garage door. Normally, if I had caught it earlier, I might have “encouraged” that she build someplace else. But, alas, the nest is there. Every morning mother robin and I have our littler interchange – she flies to the yard, I get my bike out, reverse and repeat. I’m OK with it.

Well – now that we have increased the usage of our garage – the light above the front door has become home for a little sparrow (which does not make as tidy a nest as a robin). Again, it was not caught in time that I felt I could encourage a “move.” So, the sparrow and the robin have conquered the front of our house. If you come to visit you will most likely be greeted with a chirp and a flyby.

It’s the backyard where things have gone awry. Last summer a robin made a nest in the downspout of our gutter when we did not get rain for a period of time. I thwarted all those efforts this year with some screen and gutter covers. A family of starlings attempted (every year) a nest in our soffit – but I finally got something that they couldn’t get through this year. Go me! The starlings have since relegated themselves to a knot in one of our trees.

The problem is/was with a sparrow couple. One night while sitting on the patio I noticed – or thought I noticed a sparrow fly into my dryer vent. I decided the next day to inspect and it appeared that it would be virtually impossible for this to have happened. See – under the hood there’s a metal flap that seals the vent from the outside world. How could a bird possibly open that? How could it open with nest making materials? There’s no way there were any birds in there.

Well – guess what? When I did laundry on Sunday I learned that there were birds in there. The kindling – or “nest” as the sparrows call it – did not catch on fire, fortunately. A lot of it blew out the vent – and the rest I pulled out. And I felt AWFUL while doing it. We needed to do laundry – but I certainly did want to be a home wrecker. Since Sunday the sparrows have been hanging around a lot. I cannot decide if they are just pissed at me – or if they are scheming about getting back in. Either way it pains me to think about it.

Well – if only that were the only bad bird decision. There is a robin that is trying to build a nest on my outdoor speaker control. Sure I don’t use the speakers EVERYDAY, but frequently enough that a nest would be burdensome. Not that I am blaming the robin – she’s picked a spot that is well protected. So, each morning and afternoon I have been trying to take down the random twigs and strings that have been brought over…and as soon as I do it they are back.

*sigh

It wouldn’t be so annoying if there weren’t a plethora of trees in our backyard – but there is a plethora of trees. Actually – I’m not sure what a “plethora” is – but we have like six large trees in our yard. Of those I can confirm one bird family living in one tree. So – I’m no ornithologist, but it would seem that there is plenty of room. I understand that we (people) have completely destroyed nature and we need find ways to coexist – but this house has been here for over 40 years without these issues.

Any thoughts?

This is getting out of hand!

2008-04-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

So - I know that my theory was silly. What are the chances that I can cause an earthquake by NOT watching TV at night? About ZERO!

Yes, it was odd that it happened twice, but I wasn't really taking myself seriously.

Well - I decided not to watch TV on Friday night...and guess what? Don't believe me - here's the NY Times article...

www.nytimes.com

Waste not, want not. Happy Earth Day!

2008-04-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

So I was watching Oprah the other day (thanks DVR) – and the subject was about families that create great amounts of personal waste. Waste in all forms – garbage, power, food, consumerism, etc. The show was obviously produced to encourage other “average” Americans to evaluate their living standards and see what they can do to cut back on excessive waste. I went into it thinking that the families that were picked were going to be extreme cases – but as the show went on we learned that, in fact, they are pretty average.

In one case a family of five was creating 4 entirely different dinners. Now, in theory I have no real problem with this – if they were making the meals individual sizes. But, instead the mother was cooking and entire box of pasta for her son – and throwing out the rest. An entire box (I just checked) is 7 servings. First of all – why cook it all – and if you do – why throw it out? The family then goes to the grocery store and buys it all over again. This was just the tip of the iceberg – they cranked the heat up to 82, they left all sorts of lights and devices on. It was fantastically ridiculous. To their credit – they also thought it was ridiculous and they did make enormous improvements in their lifestyle.

Another family that was spotlighted was dealing with similar issues – but the thing that stuck out the most with the second family was the amount of time they let their five-year-old play video games. He played roughly 3-5 hours a day. A DAY! This family also made dramatic changes for the better after living through an experiment that involved giving things up/trying not to waste so much.

As vain and as superficial as I might be about myself – in most circumstances I try not to judge. Certainly in the case of my students (where it is my job to judge their work) I judge but I try to be constructive about it – and I try to stay on task (don’t believe a word that my co-workers say to the contrary). Looking at these families, in my heart of hearts I know that they need to just work through their issues and I should not condemn them. However, we are sharing the same planet and dipping from the same resource pool. If these families represent a “normal” slice of America, it’s no wonder we’re screwed as a nation and as a planet.

I will make no claims that we are perfect in our house – as a matter of fact I can list things that we need to be better about. That being said – I feel like all the good things that I do are just negated by the “everyday” actions of those around me. This is where I get on my high horse – so if you don’t want to read, stop now.

Let’s start with the actual house. There are only two of us (and a little white dog) so we don’t need a lot of room. That being said, in the event that we start a family, there is plenty of room in this house to do so – at roughly 1800 square feet, three bedrooms and two bathrooms, there is more than ample space. The house is also an older home. It was built in the early 60’s. We looked at a few new and newer homes – but when push comes to shove – isn’t it better to use what is already there? The materials that we have used to fix this house and make it not only livable, but also attractive are far fewer than what it would take to make an all new house. Additionally, all of our appliances are “energy star” and most of our utilities are as well. The improvements to be made there are with the type of water heater and water softener that we have. So – once we can afford to change those and/or something goes wrong with the ones we have – we will. I’d also love to convert the house to at least partial solar power – but I feel like there is still a lot of other work before I drop the expense on that.

Inside the house we have some halogen lights – so those use halogen bulbs. However, in most places we try to use CFLs. Sure, they’re not perfect with their mercury lined interiors – but they are certainly more efficient than a regular incandescent, and the color is good now. Ideally, LED technology will be all figured out within a year – but that stuff is not really fully available to the consumer market.

We use cloth napkins and wash EVERYTHING in COLD/COLD on the washer. It works the same, folks. We recycle everything that we can – although our curbside has recently changed what all they pick up (now they take less). Still, we produce approximately one kitchen size bag of trash every other week. We do NOT compost, but we don’t really have anything to compost. Most of our food is eaten the first time or as leftovers.

Neither of us smokes or has a Starbucks habit – so we aren’t producing a lot of consumer waste that way. I tend to eat out for lunch once, maybe twice a week – but again – I am careful to recycle what I can from those meals (bottles, etc).

The question is, does it matter? When a majority of the people around me are so cavalier about these things, does it matter what I do? At my place of employment I frequently see people throwing away recyclables – not even things that are hard to recycle – they are throwing away bottles and cans. Does the school need more bins? Would it matter – it seems to happen that way even if the trash can is next to the recycle bin. While I appreciate that you are not littering – I’d almost rather have you throw you trash on the ground so that I don’t have to dig through the rubbish bin after you to save your recycling.

I routinely see all sorts of lights and equipment left on. And, while I realize that there are safety codes for buildings, is there any reason that they have to look like shopping centers at night? Why are there so many emergency lights? The problems that I see are not limited to students – they are just as prevalent in the faculty and staff. That means that some of my colleagues aren’t even trying to set an example – unless the example is “how to kill the planet.”

I would like to reiterate that I do not do everything perfectly. I still have plenty of room to grow – and I push myself everyday. These past few weeks we have been purging our lives and trying to remove things that are overcomplicating and crowding our home and lifestyle. I know that the little things add up – but I feel like we need big change.

How long do we passively do this? I don’t want to be a jerk and get in faces – but somebody has to, right? Otherwise our entire nation will continue to deplete all our resources and seemingly not care. Or at least not care until it is too late. We can ban smoking – but we cannot ban SUVs? We can enforce all sorts of laws (some ridiculous) – but we cannot get people to recycle? It’s just dumb.

Happy Earth Day!

What the?

2008-04-21T06:10:00.000-07:00

So - no TV last night.

Earthquake - AGAIN!

I think I will be watching TV before somebody gets hurt.

Earthquakes...and their causes.

2008-04-20T20:15:00.001-07:00

So, normally Amy and I watch TV when we go to bed. We set the sleep timer and doze off to some mindless drivel. The other day I decided to just go to sleep. No TV. Break the routine a little.

At 5:30 am there was an earthquake in Illinois that we felt here. Coincidence?

Finally!

2008-04-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

We moved into this house in June of 2006. My "office/studio" has always been in a state of disrepair. As a matter of fact - the room has been a veritable dumping ground for "things that we don't know what to do with."

Not anymore. This week we painted, bought new furniture, cleaned, organized and got this room into working condition. And lest you think "that's all you did all week?" No, we also cleaned garage, the yard, the Mazda and prepared for a HUGE garage sale. If you need a couch, futon, TV, entertainment center, etc. etc. - let me know.

Anyway - here are pictures of the office...and me looking cheesy in it. The ONLY thing that is left is the paneled wall behind the desk. We weren't sure what we wanted to do. We have now decided to leave the shelves dark, and we are going to paint the wall some accent color - to work with the yellow/green wash. Once I pick that color - we'll get on it.

Yay for finally getting something done. Tomorrow I'm going to hang the outdoor lights and mount speakers in the office.

ps - yes, I have a turquoise case for my Macbook...and I'm OK with that.

Making the Switch...

2008-03-28T17:02:00.001-07:00

On Monday I made the switch from PC to Mac. I won’t say that I am quitting PC cold turkey – I mean I still have the computer and I still have very necessary programs on it that I currently cannot afford to put on my Mac yet. Not to mention, I am still using a PC a work…

But after a few days with the Mac I have some thoughts. The first and most obvious is – why didn’t I do this sooner? Seriously? I bought a Macbook Pro and at time of purchase it was similar in power/memory to be HP. Granted all the little bits inside are newer and it does have a better processor – but it was still similar. After purchasing I opted to upgrade the RAM myself rather than have Apple charge me nearly $400 to do it. For me the main goal was to be able to run the programs that I usually run and not crash the damn thing all the time.

The ease at which I have done things so far is incredible. Putting in the RAM was “stupid easy” just as my friend Leon described. Beyond that, all the software that I have installed has been an absolute dream. I am not a novice with computers – so this was not a HUGE deal – rather it is more a matter of convenience…and I am lazy, so that is good. Also – it does not come loaded with all that crap AOL, adware, etc. etc. So I did not waste hours deleting that shit. I turned it on and it worked. Hell, it worked in less than a minute…I turned it on and it was booted and ready (my trusty PC is up to 15 minutes before I can do anything). I didn’t know something like that was even possible. Why don’t people tell me these things?

There is also a certain sex appeal to the Mac…and I’m not too proud to admit that I buy into that. I have an iPhone – I love my iPhone because it is great for me – and it looks good. I’m just that vain. This Macbook Pro is the same thing. It just looks and feels nice. The keys are soft, but reactive – they are also very smooth and quiet. The machine is the same way. It just feels slick – not slippery slick – sex slick. And it is not loaded up with crap. PCs are nice enough to have a sticker for everything – Processor, XP, speaker brand, etc. This is the keys, the trackpad, the power button and speakers. It’s like something out of a movie…it almost looks generic. I do love Apple and the simple approach to design.

I haven’t done any “real” tests yet – but they are coming. So far though, I can just say that this computer “feels” good. And if you don’t know what that means, tough. The next step is to figure out AutoCAD on this thing…that will allow me to do sexy drafting.

Update – I did just purchase a hard plastic turquoise cover so as to prevent scratches…it is still sexy and now in turquoise.

Back by popular demand...

2008-03-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am once again watching DWTS. I was going to skip my predictions this year because…well…to be honest I wanted to quit while I was ahead. I have been fairly successful for the past few seasons and you just hate to mess that up. It’s always better to go out on top, right?

Unfortunately for me (fortunately for you) a number have emailed asking why I haven’t done my predictions yet. Well, dear readers, for you I’ll do just about anything. So – before the result show tonight but after seeing the first two (three) nights of dancing – here they are.
Before I start I should note that I did indeed go to the live show this past year as a birthday gift from Amy. It was awesome. Also – I have heard the rumors about Cheryl and Drew. I will make no comment on that...it’s their business.

So – in no particular order – the dancers (and their partners):

Penn Jillette and Kym Johnson – poor Penn. He is huge. Absolutely huge. He is like the size of Dr. Frankenstein’s creature. Kym is tiny…in case you’ve never seen her. I worry that the size issue is going to be a problem for them. Penn is certainly excited to be on the show and I think that he will work hard, I just don’t think it will last for more than a few weeks. He is too awkward. This makes me feel awful for Kym who, after winning in Australia, has been cursed with “bad” celebrities in America.

Steve Guttenberg and Anna Trebunskaya – hurm…Steve Guttenberg, eh? Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, Short Circuit – at least he is finally doing something worth while. This should be (I hope) quick. Most people smile when they are dancing, but not Steve. Steve counts, forcefully.

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska – so this is new (in case you haven’t heard the promos) – an NFL player that is actually an active player. Although I think that some people are willing to argue that the Dolphins are not really active. Anyway, he and Edyta seem to click and I think he has potential to do well, although I don’t think he will do nearly as well as Emmitt or Jerry (Rice). When do football teams start preseason?

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke – who? Whatever. He’s OK. I don’t know who he is. Cheryl is clearly the celebrity here. Go Cheryl. I don’t see them in the finals…but they might hang on for a few weeks.

Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough – I love Julianne. Adam Carolla is a funny man with perhaps one of the most annoying voices. This pairing is a little creepy to me. Adam is sort of like a dirty old man. Julianne is a beautiful young woman. Draw your own conclusions. Anyway, the dancing, sorry Julianne. This will be over soon. No three-peat victory for you. I think that the producers did this to you on purpose. I just hope we get to see you for a while. Maybe Apollo or Helio will come back for a cameo (beyond just watching).

Mario and Karina Smirnoff – final three. I have no idea who he is, but he is a good dancer, good smile and seems to be willing to work hard. We already know that Karina is super competitive and does well with people named Mario. I think that the will do very well.

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough – please go. I am tired of seeing Shannon on the poker circuit – I don’t think that she acts anymore, right? Derek, Derek, Derek. For as much as I love your sister, I cannot stand you. Sorry. I bet that you are probably a really nice guy, and the judges say that you are a great choreographer – but you bug me. This pair is middle of the road. Shannon will continue to work hard, but I don’t think they have the connection and “couple charisma” to win.

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez – I will not make any deaf jokes. As for people with disabilities – I appreciate that they can be on the show. Unfortunately I do not think they can win. That is not to say that Marlee is not a good actress, because she is. I think she is probably a good dancer, too. I just think that to win she needs to hear the music That being said – I’m not a dancer, so I really have no idea.

Priscilla Presley and Louis van Amstel – Louis came out of “retirement” for this…and I would probably do the same thing. Priscilla is a legend. She is actually a pretty good dancer, too. She is the oldest competitor in the history of the show. I really was pleasantly surprised with her Fox Trot in the first week. I think that she will pretty well. She’s not going to win, or make it to the finals…but she will have a strong showing.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovonlani – I think that the will do OK. Tony is a great teacher and Marissa has great stage presence. Marissa also seems to be having loads of fun. So I think they will make it far into the competition.

Monica Seles and Jonathon Roberts – sadly I think that Jonathon is also a great teacher – but Monica just cannot cut it. She is certainly competitive and fit enough, but she doesn’t appear to have the grace or the fan base compared to some of the other celebrities. I don’t think they will make it very far.

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas – this ouple is top three as well. By my count I have two couples in the top three. It is clear that Kristi is leaps and bounds ahead of the other dancers. Her skating must have done something right. Her only big drawback to winning this season is her partner. I know it is not his first season…but he still seems so green.

So there you have it. Those are my thoughts for this season of DWTS. Tom and Samantha are their usual selves as are the judges. I did no watch the spinoff show, but fortunately it did not seem to spike Bruno and Carrie Anne’s egos past what they already were.

I am hoping for plenty of Kenny Mayne and Jimmy Kimmel this season.

Tattoos?

2008-03-21T09:08:00.001-07:00

iFanboy - ink.

BEST. BLOG. EVER.

2008-03-13T16:26:00.000-07:00

First - I should say that I write a weekly column for iFanboy. It can be seen each and every Friday. That is (perhaps) while this blog has been so sparse recently.

Second - today the funniest/saddest thing happened to me. However, my editor has deemed it inappropriate for the blogosphere. Sorry. It was really fucking good, too.

Maybe when something "tamer" happens I can put it out into the public eye.

ps - don't bother asking, either.

...and a lack of real spice in your life...

2008-02-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

July 4, 1998 – I sat in the 10^th row for the Spice Girls concert at Darien Like in Buffalo, NY. I drove nearly four hours to get there and most of that was through severe weather. As a matter of fact we were concerned that the concert might be canceled because the weather was so bad. Fortunately the weather gods eventually sided with us and the concert happened. I was there with my friend Patrick and we were surrounded by thousands of screaming 10 year olds – and their parents. And yes…Geri Halliwell (aka Ginger Spice) bailed on that tour – dropping out of the Spice Girls just before they came to America.

February 15, 2008 – Amy, my sister and I went to see the Spice Girls on the backside of their 2^nd world tour at the United Center in Chicago. With Victoria leaving Spice (and the majority have kids) this will be the last time all 5 girls perform together. My ticket was nearly double the price this time. Normally that would concern me because to live up to a $130 ticket ($75 last time) – it better be a good show.

So – how was the show? Spice-tastic! Spice-errific! Spice-gasmic. The show was absolutely incredible. I should go ahead and preface with all of you that are not fans of Spice – they are amazing entertainers. That is VERY different than musicians, at least in my book. A nice and simple introduction to the Spice Girls would be to watch “Spice World” – the movie that they released in 1997. It certainly incorporates their music, but much like Beatles movie, you get an interesting glimpse into their individual personality and humor.

Translate that to a live show. It is not a concert, it is a performance. The scenery was amazing. The set was a simple runway with a playing area on each end, loads of traps and some levels towards the back (which included the band). The set was actually quite reminiscent of the productions of Chicago we did at FC last year. I thinking about suing…anyway, the design also included these gigantic monitors that moved and danced almost as fluidly as the girls. They went up, down, split, forward, backward and they had AMAZING resolution. Very impressive. If you’ve been on the internet – you’ve probably heard about the costumes that were used for the show. Spice Girls partnered with designer Roberto Cavalli and marketed through Victoria’s Secret. Well – they were fun and exciting.

The show was scheduled to start at 8. In my head I figured they would be on about an hour and that we would be strolling out of the United Center by 9:30. Well, they actually started by 8:30 (shocked me) and played until almost 10:15. Wow! And they were high energy the entire time. There were some breaks for costume changes, etc., but we were entertained my amazing backup dancers.

They opened with Spice Up Your Life and closed with a Wannabe/SUYL medley that were both sung over the Humpty Dance bass line…sadly I don’t think a lot of the audience really knew the Humpty Dance, and that was surprising.

The two awkward moments in the show involved the Mels. At one point Scary (Mel B) strapped a male audience member to her “machine” and simulated sexual acts with him. Shortly after that, Mel C was severely groped (almost inappropriately) by one of the backup dancers. I guess they were making the point that they have grown up. The sweetest moment was when Scary, Baby and Posh’s kids all came out during Momma I Love You. It was oddly touching – and something that I presume hasn’t happened in every show. But maybe they have…I will just pretend that we were special-er.

I am waffling about talking about the rest of the audience. I don’t want to come off as rude, or insensitive. I guess I will just say that being surrounded by this group was an experience. It was very different than the show 10 years ago. In all aspects it was different. Better. So – maybe I’ve said too much. If you want to know more, you know where to find me.

People of the world…
(now you say – “Spice Up Your Life”).

iFanboy

2008-02-14T22:25:00.000-08:00

...and my first official post on the new site...

Check it.

http://www.ifanboy.com/content/articles/Please_allow_me_to_introduce_myself___

Lots of things to talk about…little motivation to talk about them.

2008-01-31T21:10:00.000-08:00

First things first – I recently turned 30. I am still deciding whether that is a big deal or not. If you had asked me when I was in my teens – I would have said that 30 was OLD. Maybe even really old. However, actually being 30 doesn’t seem that crazy. As a matter of fact – I just spent the last 45 minutes playing Guitar Hero 3 on the Wii. I guess that saying is true – “you are only as old as you act.” Of course, my lovely students still remind me daily that I am indeed OLD when I make some reference and they have no idea what I am talking about.

*sigh

Anyway, Amy got me tickets to Dancing with the Stars (the tour) for my birthday. We were in the 2^nd row. It was incredibly exciting to be there in person. I will say that had we been sitting in the nosebleeds it probably would not have been as enjoyable. But we weren’t and it was amazing!

The next day Ronald came to visit – and apparently I had a surprise party that night. The plan was to go duckpin bowling – which we did. However we did it with 25 other people. Looking back there were many clues that I let slide – but when push comes to shove – I was surprised. It actually really pisses me off that I was surprised (I am slipping in my age) – but the party was loads of fun.

We rounded out the weekend by taking the Wii to my parents’ house. I’ve never seen my mom laugh so hard. Not that I need to be a commercial for the Wii – but it is pretty great. In a lot of ways it is the great equalizer. People who are not adept at button pushing still have a chance, people who play a lot can still be evenly matched, etc.

Since then my winter term class is over and second semester has started. I am fairly excited about the classes I am teaching this semester – and I am VERY excited not to have an overload.

In other news I went to a healer the other night. For those of you that don’t know (and I have no idea who reads this) I have been sick for the past 9-ish years. I like to call it my personal plague. Anyway, I have seen many doctors, many specialists, taken many medicines all to no avail. So I go to this Native American healer and have a seat in her kitchen. She puts her hand on my knee (knowing absolutely nothing about me – not even why I am there) and proceeds to rattle off every symptom and problem that I have. I will refrain from getting personal on this blog – but let me just say that she got everything dead on. It was amazing. She also gave me some ideas on how to fix my sickness – sans medications.

I am still in shock and amazement at the way that she was able to know so much about me without asking. She just simply put her hand on my knee and started talking. I was not skeptical going in. As a matter of fact – since no doctor has been able to help me – I figured I had nothing to lose by seeing a healer. (side note – healers don’t charge – it’s their calling). So I was willing to listen and hope for the best. I was not at all prepared for the experience that I had. But this really isn’t the forum to talk about it.

And that is my life right now. Not terribly exciting – but I am OK with this pace for a few days. And I think it is safe to say that things will pick up soon. Like next week.

What? I have a blog?

2008-01-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

Where have I been? That’s a good question – and in fact I wish I could give some fantastic and exotic answer. Like – “Oh, I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging, I’ve been saving merpeople in Atlantis,” or “yeah – I’ve been working with gorillas in the African jungle.” But the fact is I don’t have a great answer like that.

I’ve been busy. I know – we are all busy. I’m not busier or more special than anybody else. We are all busy and nobody has time to do things like “blog.” So here I am forcing myself to write this update so that maybe I can get back on a schedule.

Since my last blog I have opened and closed Oliver! Actually – I think the day after I wrote my last blog I headed off to Bloomington and stayed there until the show opened right before Christmas. It was a lot of work, that show. Some might even say too much work. In the end it was a successful show. Although I need to strongly rethink whether I do any more holiday shows.

After that I was neck deep in all the family holiday hoopla – and that seems to never stop. I love my family – I really do. But I have a breaking point – and there is only SO much time I can spend with them – especially when trying to split that time between two families. But, I survived the holidays, just as I survived Oliver! so it must not have been as bad as I thought.

This year is my first time winter term. That means that I started working again on January 3, teaching freshman about Graphic Novels. It is an interesting and exciting concept for a course – we are looking at 5 books and the movies that were made based on the books. We are also examining the influence that comics are starting to have on Pop Culture – a point that we can argue if you wish.

Anyway – I just recently went to Milwaukee with some of my theatre students for the American College Theatre Festival (ACTF). Let me tell you something – Milwaukee is a great city…in the summer. Milwaukee in January is pretty much on the bottom of my list. I mean – it’s not THAT bad – but it is cold. And (according to Britnee, my waitress at Yaffa) all that people do it drink until it’s warm again. That might be the way to go for some people – but that’s not how I roll. Next year ACTF is in Saginaw – a city I fear will be worse than Milwaukee in January. w00t!

Next week is my birthday. Ron is coming into town. Should be an exciting time…assuming he’s not too swamped with work stuff!!! He’s also going to work with my class on Monday (yes I have to teach on MLK day). That’s how FC rolls.

So, that’s all you get for now. I apologize for this blog being so dry and boring. I cannot promise anything – but I will try to make it better for next time. Enjoy the rest of your week!

BEST. CHRISTMAS SONG. EVER!

2007-12-06T21:10:00.000-08:00

It sounds easy, right? Pick your favorite Christmas song. Maybe it is a beautiful choral piece that brings a smile and a tear at the same time. Maybe it is something that your mom sang to you every year on Christmas Eve. Maybe you were in you second grade pageant and it is the first Christmas song you had to memorize and sing in front of yawning parents while wearing angel wings. Maybe the song has your name in it – and you love it for that simple reason. Or maybe it is that song that the first time you hear it while holiday shopping, you are reminded that it is the holidays and you should be merry. Or maybe you are a heathen and you avoid all things commercial Christmas like the plague. If that’s the case – stop reading.

There are so many factors that go into the process. Just like we all have emotions and thoughts tied to “regular” songs, except this is one that you only justify for one season a year.

My dear friend Tom posted a blog earlier talking about the songs that give him holiday cheer. It really made me think a little bit. What are my favorite songs? The simple answer is – it depends on who is asking. You see, I have a library of just about 800 different holiday songs. And yes – I do start playing them at Halloween. But with such a vast library I don’t get bored with the music and I can have conversations with many people about it.

Example – my mother likes Christmas music – but she does not like music versions of songs that normally have lyrics. So if somebody is playing Jingle Bells – and not singing – she is going to make a comment. My father loves choral music. So rather than talking to him about Brian Setzer doing Christmas songs – I am better of talking about some version that the Westminster boys choir did. Amy loves most Christmas music – but she has certain songs she grew up with – so it is important that I know those and can recognize them when heard – and I need to be prepared to hear some story about she and her sister fighting while listening to the song.

Am I avoiding the question here – or am I making a point. Both. The point is that my favorite song is known and appreciated by so few people. Rather than having to explain myself to everybody I prefer to keep the song to myself whilst in casual conversation. Is that lazy – or respectful? I think that latter – wrapped up in the first. Seriously though, I like to believe that I can I can express genuine interest in things outside of my own world and be able to talk about them intelligently…even if the subject is Christmas music.

Putting this ridiculously heady argument/conversation aside – I do have a favorite Christmas song. The top of the list is easily “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” as performed by David Bowie and Bing Crosby. It is really something special – and not appreciated (or heard) by enough people. It is worth listening to – and if you can find the video, do that.

Tannenbaum II

2007-11-25T20:59:00.001-08:00

Our tree is up and decorated. As a matter of fact, most of the house is decorated for the Christmas Holiday – though we still have a few things to do. Last year we made the switch to an artificial tree. There were a few reasons for doing this. First – the artificial trees are really starting to look good, at least the one we bought. Second – the price we were paying per year to cut our own Frasier Fir was getting ridiculous. Theoretically if we keep this thing at least one more year we’ve made our money back. Third – although made of plastic, we felt as though we might be lowering our carbon footprint by not cutting down a tree each year. Fourth – it is a hell of a lot easier to set up an artificial tree than it is to set up a real tree. Oh the fights we have had trying to “level” the tree. It’s a miracle we are still together. Did I mention that you can leave the lights on year to year? Even though I replaced a few this year, it was so much better than lighting an entire tree. Finally – not having to worry about water/drying out – there is nothing worse than thinking that your tree might catch on fire.

Now that it is set up and decorated how do I really feel about it being artificial? Well, it is lovely. It truly is. Our ornaments are all very personal and carry their own little stories. It is fun to get them out every year and relive the memories; it is those memories that really gives character to the tree. However, the tree gives me a sense of déjà vu. Part of the charm of the Frasier Fir (fresh cut) is that it never looks the same. It doesn’t have the typical “cone” shape that a lot of pines do. So every year finding the tree and getting up proved to be a unique experience and outcome. This year I walked to the shed and opened a box. The shape is identical to last year and even though the ornament placement (I assume) is different, the tree has a similar feel. I guess I didn’t think about how much the shape would dictate.

That being said I truly do believe that the tree is beautiful. There is no sap on my hands, no water spilled on the floor and no pine needles constantly falling onto the floor. I might have to buy some fake pine smell to help calm my nerves.

Can YOU Dig it?

2007-11-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

This Wednesday Franklin College opens the WORLD PREMIERE of Dig, a new play by award winning playwright Paul Shoulberg. Read the press release below…

This world premiere by award-winning playwright Paul Shoulberg is the story of a middle-aged professional man living with cancer and the physical and emotional pain that comes with the disease. He forms an unlikely friendship with a young streetballer. Dig combines hurt with humor, revealing its tale through crisp, contemporary and startlingly poetic language.

So – come and see it. Tom Robson is the guest director, production design by Brady King and me. It is going to be good. Performances are November 14^th – 17^th at 8 pm and November 18^th at 2 pm. Tickets are $10 for people and $6 for students or free with FC ID. Message me if want me to reserve you some tickets - or if you need more information.

See you at the theatre.

Life is worth living - ask George Bailey.

2007-10-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

I just recently returned home from a weekend of seeing Mozzer. Saturday night was fantastic...and I took my camera in. Here are some links - the first = pictures - the second = a little bit of video.

PICTURES

VIDEO

And this picture...well this is just sad but funny. This was on the Tappan Zee Bridge. Clearly the idea behind it is very sad and true - but the humor comes in because there is NO PHONE! We kept going back over the bridge to try to find it! THERE'S NO PHONE!

NUGRFC

2007-10-23T21:51:00.001-07:00

This weekend Amy and I headed to Cincinnati to visit the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. It was being built while we lived in Cincinnati, but we moved before it opened and for some reason we hadn’t yet made it back to the museum.

My first comment is simple. Allow more than two hours. We had planned to meet friends in the afternoon – and we thought that two hours would be sufficient (but not ample) time to work through the museum. Not that in my head I was belittling how much info there is about the Underground Railroad – we just didn’t know what to expect.

The Freedom Center is absolutely gorgeous. It is located in downtown Cincinnati directly between the two stadiums. We already knew the exterior was attractive – as we saw it while we watched the Reds lose on many occasions. But the inside matches. It is absolutely stunning. I am really not sure how to do it justice. I am a huge fan of the Ghery designed Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain – and this building at least matches in “awe” factor.

The cost to enter is $10 for educators, $12 for all you “normal” people. At first I was thinking that seemed high, especially since so many national museums and monuments are free to taxpayers, but I felt like I did get my money’s worth – and it would have been better if I had been there longer.

There were many times that I felt myself getting emotional at the museum. It’s not worth going into depth on those – because I know that everybody has their own emotional response. But, this got me thinking. Do people get enough out of this museum, or is the point of it lost in history?

It is easy to say that slavery sucked, and thank goodness we are past it (I think). But doesn’t it deserve more? And what about the kids that go to the museum. Do they understand what slavery is…what it was? The sheer magnitude of it – or is lost to them? There is so much to learn, understand and try to appreciate – but is that opportunity taken advantage of?

The more I thought about the, the more frustrated I was. I think that we did US History in the 8^th grade and then junior year of high school. I don’t remember much about what I was taught – which I guess is my point. I’m not really looking for an answer – just sort of thinking out loud.

Anyway – I wanted to list a few things that I learned at the museum; Oprah cannot read a teleprompter very well; slaves were more expensive the further south you went; the final destination of the UGR was actually Canada – not just north of the Ohio; it’s hard to be a white male in a museum like that and not feel guilty; and so much more.

Who knew?

2007-10-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

Regina Spektor smiles a lot. It's cute.

She is also very little. I knew she was tiny - but I was still taken back a little.

The Bachelor

2007-09-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

I pick Jade.

I hope that young Indy's voice doesn't annoy me before the end of the season.

I wanted more shit to go down on the first episode.

You'd think they could shoot this show in HD.

DWTS - my picks

2007-09-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

I have to keep this quick so I can walk the dog and get back to work. Ugh...I hate working at night...especially a DWTS night.

The final three is probably going to be (in no particular order) -

Helio Castroneves (he was really good)
Floyd Mayweather
Cheetah Girl

Now the last one really disturbs me - and I hope I am wrong. I think she is an "OK" dancer - but she is annoying. Really annoying. I also think that she will get a lot of votes from fans. Which is why I hate the fan vote. I also think that Cameron (the other Cheetah Girl from All My Children) will make it further because of the fan vote.

I would love to see Mark Cuban get somewhere...and he'll do OK. Sadly he won't get the fan base that he needs - and his hip will prove to be a bit of a problem.

I think that Helio and Julianne might get it done. They were really good. Floyd has skills/movement, too - if he can apply it. Jane Seymour - I'm still rooting for you...

DWTS - Season Five!!!

2007-09-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly a lot of people have asked for my predictions on this season of DWTS. I have acquired some street cred after consistently naming the top 3 for the past 3 season. I’m not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed. Nah, I’m just kidding. Of course I am proud of such an important accomplishment.

Anyway, I digress. It’s not about me – it’s about the stars….and the dancers. Well, it’s more about the dancers – the lady dancers…but I digress again.

I will not make predictions in this post. I will make them after watching the men dance tomorrow. So for now I will talk about the contestants…

Lou Ferrigno – while technically not on the show this season there was a widespread rumor that he would be. I cannot even begin to tell you how much joy that would have brought me – and they need somebody with a significant disability this season. C’est la vie.

Jennie Garth/Kelly – well she still looks good. Didn’t see that one coming. She’s popped out three kids and still has good “hip action” according to Len. Her partner Derek Hough is leaving me wanting to punch him…but maybe he’ll grow on me (not literally).

Josie Maran – HOTT. Done and done. Alec Mazo – I’m not sure how you won first season with Slutty McSlutterson. You annoy me. But Josie is still HOTT.

Sabrina Bryan – who are you? I don’t really care. The only “Cheetahs” I have been to is a strip club…and I’m pretty sure that’s a different thing. And your professional partner – Mark Ballas…um…your name looks like “Balls.”

Marie Osmond – wow. Really? Really? I’m not sure how you are looking these days. I am tentatively going to say – not very good. But…I have no real basis for that. At least you have a great sense of humor. Jonathan Roberts – you still look like Tom Cruise in Top Gun to me.

Mel B/Scary – good to see your life is back together…I think. I’m sorry that I am going to miss the reunion this summer – but my actual job calls – so that sucks. Oh…and where did those boobs come from? Maksim – great to have you back…you always seem to have a good attitude.

Jane Seymour/Dr. Quinn – I would be so excited if you did well. Truly. The idea of Dr. Quinn winning this is fantastic. Tony – you are my favorite male dancer…I’m glad that you’re with the classy lady.

Mark Cuban – wha-what?!?!? Are you serious? Do you know how potentially AWESOME this is? You are funnier than Kenny Mayne – and you have so much more potential. I hope you take this somewhat seriously so that I can see your antics all season. By far the celebrity I am most excited about this season. Kym – Still cute…

Helio Castroneves – growing up in Indy I know your name. I know nothing about your personality – but you are partnered with Julianne. I heart Julianne almost as much as I heart Cheryl.

Cameron Mathison – are you a Cheetah girl too? Oh…you’re a dude? Whatever. Edyta – whatever.

Floyd Mayweather – I’m not really a boxing fan. I don’t really know much about you. I suspect you can kick Mario Lopez’s ass if he comes after you for putting your hands on Karina.

Cheryl Burke – I mean Wayne Newton…what to say here? Um – Cheryl – sorry about your partner. You got some alien. He’s more plastic than man. He’s so odd looking. ps – it’s time for a haircut girl. It is so much cuter when it is shorter.

Albert Reed – are you the third Cheetah Girl? Oh…Albert is clearly a boy name. Sorry – I just don’t know who you are. And you are paired with Anna – back from the good old days with Jerry Rice.

New interview room – a little less boudoir-ey. I’m not sure if I like it yet…but it really doesn’t matter what I think. So I guess it will do.

Drew Lachey – work on the color commentary. Are you still with your wife? Does she still look as bad as she did when you were on the show?

Samantha Harris – so you had that baby. Nice work. OK then…

Tom Bergeron – you haven’t changed…

Judges – you also haven’t changed…

The Bachelor – wow. You kind of look like a young Harrison Ford. I will be posting about your show later…

Dogs love me 'cause I'm crazy sniffable.

2007-09-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked what my favorite Beastie Boys album is. Without any hesitation I answered “Paul’s Boutique.” It seemed like such a no brainer to me. I remember when that album came out. I remember listening to it and thinking how awesome it was. In my mind there was no question that it is indeed the finest work by the Beastie Boys.

Chad, who asked the question, then brought up how good “Hello Nasty” is and that he has also recently been listening to “To the 5 Boroughs.” It got me thinking…those are really good too. Our conversation pretty much stopped there. It was at the end of the evening…so we did not get o have a full discussion…and this is one of those subjects that deserves a full discussion.

So, what is your favorite Beastie Boys album…and why? In case you want to know what the albums are; Licensed to Ill (1986); Paul’s Boutique (1989); Check Your Head (1992); Ill Communication (1994); Hello Nasty (1998); To the 5 Boroughs (2004); The Mix-Up (2007). I actually haven’t listened to the latest. It came out in July – it is all instrumental. It’s not on the top of my list – I like the rhymes.

Anyway, I mentioned that my gut reaction was to go with “Paul’s Boutique.” I was young when it came out – and I probably had no idea what I was even listening to…I just knew it was awesome. The older I got and the more I listened to it, the more I liked it.

I spent this weekend driving up to Chicago…and back. I decided to use that time wisely and listen to the albums in order. I was worried that I would not have enough time, but a side trip to Michigan City to see family made it all possible.

So, after many hours in the car, here are the results. This is all negotiable…it might even change before I post this.

Hello Nasty
Paul’s Boutique
To the 5 Boroughs

And those three are VERY close. It wouldn’t take much to move that order around. My mood might change, a butterfly my flitter by, anything. Oops, the dog sneezed…let me shuffle those. The second tier is a little more solid in the order. These albums are good – but they are just not the same level.

Ill Communication
Check Your Head
Licensed to Ill

I should note…I still think my favorite song is “Get it Together” which is on the “Ill Communication” album. It is really something special.

Initially when I started writing this blog I thought I would give myself a section that listed my favorite Beastie Boys lyric – but there are just too many great ones to choose. So, reader, I leave that up to you. What is your favorite album, song, lyric? Is there a reason…a reason that you are willing to share? Do you even know who the Beastie Boys are? Do you have a favorite Beastie Boy? What is a Beastie? Let’s get some discussion here people.

Summer is over - bring it.

2007-08-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

I didn’t want to admit that summer is over…but I see that David Letterman is doing a bit about summer being over…so it must be true. Classes start for me tomorrow. Ugh…back to work. Summer really is over. It’s a sad fact. I know, some of you are thinking “Jerk, at least you get a summer break.” Well, to you sir or madam I say, “we all make choices. You could have chosen to be an educator. You could also have summers off. You made your own bed, now lay in it. Don’t blame me.”

I do have some sympathy and empathy for you. But I won’t accept blame. Sorry.

So, the students are back on campus. My syllabi are printed (mostly – I have a couple “corrections” to make). Parking lots around campus are full again. It is an exciting time of year. I remember when I was a kid I was always excited to see my old friends – maybe meet new friends. I also used to love getting my new locker. August and September were full of new beginnings.

Now I am looking forward to my new students – and of course seeing my old students. I am excited to see how the dynamic of my classes will be different. I am excited to start our new season. I am excited for all the other projects I am getting into this year.

Of course I am sad about summer being over. It always seems to go so quickly. One day you are excited for Wimbledon to start – then all of a sudden you are crying because the US Open has started. Summer is full of projects. Some get finished…some get started…some never leave the “honey-do” list. Summer is the time of year when you are so busy doing nothing that you feel too busy to do anything. You can stress about relaxing while relaxing without stress. It is an amazingly paradoxical time.

As I mentioned though, the beginning of fall is fun. I look forward to cooler days. I almost miss sweaters. Not yet…but in a few weeks I will be longing for that wool that I haven’t seen since early March. Then will come the wonderful season that is fall. The pumpkins, the leaves, October baseball – the excitement of college basketball – then the wonderful time that is Christmas! So many things to look forward to.

So, as I venture off to my “first” day of work for the year – I am excited. I feel like I spent a lot of my summer dreading this day – and now that it is hours away – I cannot wait! There are so many great things to come. Bring it on first day of classes. This year I am ready for you. My syllabus may have holes, my lectures may still need tightening – but my attitude is just right this year…I think…

I reserve the right to cuss and scorn this blog after things completely fall apart tomorrow.

How comfy is your couch?

2007-08-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

Furniture is “one of those things.” You know what I mean? It is one of those things that EVERYBODY has an opinion on…EVERYBODY has a solution (the best solution)…everybody

has furniture. And we have all come about it in very different ways. In our house, we did, what I assume is normal? We started with a bunch of hand me downs. We got an entertainment center that way, a dining room table and chairs, even a couple of couches. Our bed was a gift – so I guess that was not technically a hand me down. Anyway, the other pieces that we needed we tried to fill in as cheaply as possible – so IKEA.

It’s not an awful way to start. Especially when you are on a limited income or not sure how long you might live someplace. After all, you don’t want to base an entire decorating scheme on an apartment that you’ll be leaving in a year. At least I never wanted to do that. So the hand me downs paired with some IKEA pieces made for fine furnishings…for a while. But as income increases, and your living situation gets potentially more “stable” the burning desire comes to get your own things. So after seven years of the old couch – we finally ventured out into the world of “grown up” furniture shopping. That means you go to real furniture stores, and you look at different styles and fabrics. You start weighing the options of different fabrics and what leg style, etc. etc. In fact there are many decisions to be made, and they can be quite overwhelming.

Our first attempt was a miserable failure. We went to far too many stores and never found what we thought we were looking for. As a matter of fact, we decided after our first day of shopping that buying a couch was NOT for us…so we would just make what we had work. Clearly we were just jaded, grumpy and not really prepared. Fortunately deep down we knew that.

Roughly four weeks ago we ventured out into the furniture world. We learned from our first attempt and applied those lessons. First lesson – don’t go to a bunch of stores. It will just wear you down. If you have to go to a bunch…break it down. Second – avoid sales people. They have no idea what you like – and should just stay away until YOU make a decision. Third – don’t get too excited. It takes weeks to get the couch “made and delivered.” Those are the biggies. There are others, but I will leave those to discover on your own.

The couch that we ended up getting is from La-Z-Boy. It is part of the Todd Oldham collection. It is very sleek, classy…some might even say handsome. I won’t go into any detail describing the colors, fabric, etc., because, who cares? Look at the pictures – if that is not enough info for you – get your ass over here and sit on it. There’s really nothing else to say about it. So…without further ado…pictures and then I sleep. Enjoy.

New couch, new ottoman and our happy feet on the new ottoman. (click to enlarge)

I just Wii'd myself.

2007-08-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

The inevitable happened. I bought a Wii the other day. Technically, I bought 3 Wii the other day – but only one was for me, one was for Conor and one for Matt. Matt’s was a surprise for his birthday…which is actually why I am writing this blog today instead of last week when the purchase was made. You see – I didn’t want to risk ruining the surprise.

So, yes. Here I am, the proud owner of a Wii. It tooks weeks of searching, calling and waiting – but I finally found one (three). I purchased one at Toy R Us – the only one that they had. I then headed to Walmart – and got two more there as they were loading them on the shelves. People look at you funny when you buy two Wii systems.

So – how is it? It is amazing! As I mentioned in an earlier post – I was so turned off at the lack of HD capabilities. HD begin introduced in a video game system leaves lots of room for better graphics, more complex games, etc. etc. 10 minutes with the Wii and I say “F that!” This thing is absolutely revolutionary.

The games look as good as or better than the latest PS2 games. I know that the textures are richer, trees are more real buildings are more reflective with the XBOX 360 or PS3 – but you know what? If I want real trees and rich textures, I am going to walk outside and enjoy them for real. No need to spend my entire life on a couch wondering what the world is like. I play video games because I want to have fun – and because they are not real.

So – the Wii is fun. Loads of fun. As a matter of fact – even Amy plays it and is having fun. She NEVER plays video games. She is into the Wii and that is great! It is a little frustrating at first – because using the controls is like nothing you have ever done with a video game…but it is a fun frustration. You have to laugh at yourself. Eventually the movements make sense – and you are still having FUN!!!

Did I mention that it is wireless out of the box? No extra pieces to buy. It = ready to go. There are only a few games currently available for online play – but Nintendo has a bunch in the works. Mario Kart Wii has me the most excited. It is set to come out in 2008. The rumor is that you can race up to 12 people – so that should be incredible.

The machine itself is quite tiny – at least compared to XBOX 360 and PS3. That is especially nice for us, as Amy hates looking at “equipment” – but I’ll be damned if this thing is hooked up to my widescreen TV. So – it has to sit in the open…but as I said it is tiny. And sexy. If you haven’t seen them, they are glossy white line and iPod, but the disc slot glows blue. Rwar!

I haven’t played a bunch of games. Currently Amy and I are pretty content with Wii Sports and Wii Play. I did pick up the Zelda game – and it is amazing – but I am not in need of buying a ton of games. Playing what I have is great. Besides, there are some great titles coming out soon. I am also making sure to only buy games that are in 16:9 aspect ratio. I don’t know why…but I feel like that is important to me so don’t talk me out of it.

I have been Wii’d. It’s great. This is an open invitation…feel free to come over and play. If you have one…let me know your Wii number and we can swap Mii’s. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some Wii tennis to play.

More conventions!?!?!?!

2007-08-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

I am recently back from Wizardworld Chicago - which is actually in Rosemont, Ill.

Check out my report and photos of the weekend on the iFanboy site.

I'm tired...and mad at Rosemont.

Rampage! MarioKart! Pitfall! Oh my!

2007-08-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

I vaguely remember the first video game that I played. It was on an old Commodore 64. It sucked – maybe at the time it was OK. I remember when our family upgraded to an Atari. It was pretty neat. We had pong – it had those little “wheelie” type controllers. For those of you that don’t know, pong is not an amazing game – but the fact that we had a controller instead of a keyboard, like on the Commodore 64 – that made it amazing.

Next came the Atari 2600. Upgrades galore! I remember that we had a bunch of little cartridge games for this fine piece of machinery. There were games like “Asteroids” and “Centipede” that relied on a single screen. You would be at the bottom – and you just had to move from side to side and shoot at the things as they came down. Then came an amazing game – one that I think of fondly whenever I look at games today. “Pitfall.” It was, at least to me, revolutionary. The character is this Indiana Jones looking dude – and basically you just run, jump and swing over various types of pits – trying to gather gold, or some type of treasure. Playing this game gave me such hope that there were exciting things out there. I never fathomed the future of gaming and what it would become…

As I grew older Nintendo was introduced as were Gameboy and Intellivision (I’m still not sure how that one worked?). My family never had Sega, or Sega Genesis, or Atari Jaguar, I had to head over to other houses to play games like Sonic the Hedgehog. The jump between Atari 2600 and Nintendo was huge. The characters and the movement were so fluid. The boards were longer and more challenging. Games like “Contra” (and yes I still remember the code – up up down down left right left right B A start – or select start if you were playing 2 player) were fantastic. In retrospect the violence in that game was mild, but at the time, it was a war game unlike any other. And then there were the sports games – “NHL ‘94” is the one that I remember most fondly. Although you couldn’t have fist fights (you could in the ’95 version) the movement was so smooth. Then there were the accessories, like the track pad, the gun for “Duckhunt” and countless other things.

I have run the gamut since then, buying a Playstation in college – spending countless hours on “PaRappa the Rappa” and on “FIFA ’98.” I had SNES and N64. “Goldeneye,” “MarioKart,” and “WCW/NWO Revenge” were some pretty amazing games for N64. I think, actually, that I haven’t played any games as good as those. I bought a PS2 when it came out…sadly Amy sold all my other systems after she realized I had it. So, all those brilliant games listed above are now out of my possession.

So why am I writing this? Well – over the past couple of months I have been contemplating an upgrade. The choices – in case you don’t know – are XBOX 360, PS3 and the Wii. All have their very distinct pros and cons. I won’t bore you with all that I have contemplated…hell, it bores me. There are so many different factors. “Gamers” could tell you more. I guess I should note that I am not a “gamer.” I enjoy video games, but I enjoy them VERY casually. So that is something that has factored into my decision.

I have decided to get a Wii. Like I said, there are pros and cons to all the new systems, but this is the direction I am leaning. The biggest con I am finding with the Wii is availability. Before I left for San Diego last week I saw them in many stores around here. Now that I am back, there are none! Natch. I have been told my numerous stores that they are expecting them this week…so I just keep calling and doing the rounds.

What about you? Did you play video games? Do you still play them? What is/was your favorite game? A friend recently lent me some fantastic games for PS2 – “God Of War” and “God of War II.” It is just amazing to see how far these things have come in my lifetime. I can only assume that when my kids play video games (which they will do in moderation) that they will resemble the 3D Holographic “chess game” in Star Wars…or perhaps even more progressed. If you had the money, the time, or the gumption – what would you get and why? I am always curious to hear what other people are thinking.

Oh – and I’ll end with this – because it’s important. Some of you may know that I was very against the Wii for a long time. I was sad and disappointed that the Wii was not using HD technology, among other things. However, when we were in San Diego, Conor and I saw some company that was doing a promo for a new Wii exclusive Godzilla game…so after that there was no turning back for me. Oh man – remember “Rampage”? The arcade version was SOOO GOOD! Let’s hear your video game thoughts and stories.

Sitting in an airport. Sometimes life sucks – at least at these hours!

2007-07-30T03:57:00.000-07:00

I am currently making my way back home again to Indiana after a LONG week in San Diego. I was out there serving my iFanboy duties and reporting on Comic-Con international. We arrived Monday – and now it is some ungodly hour on another Monday.

San Diego was fantastic – as if I needed to say that. Monday we arrived and just laid low. We enjoyed good food at our favorite establishment – Gas Lamp Strip Club – which is not what it sounds like. It is a “cook your own steak place” and there is no nudity. Tuesday we went to the beach and to the zoo with our wonderful guide, Kristin – and iFanboy fan. Later that night I was able to meet up with my dear friend Michael (and his wife) for dinner. A fantastic time was had that evening.

Then came Wednesday…and life started to suck. We picked up weekly comics (not me – but the others) and we also picked up the fancy new iFanboy t-shirts. We enjoyed a little pool/reading time as we prepped ourselves for our eminent demise. Wednesday night was preview night for the convention – and it was PACKED. Wall to wall people! Last year the preview night was tame, tolerable, almost enjoyable. Not so much this time. But we braved it anyway.

The next few days are a complete blur in my mind. I know that I took a lot of pictures. I know that there was a lot of video shot. We met tons of fans – and hopefully made some new ones. We hosted a fantastic party with the guys from the “Totally Rad Show” at a place called Basic. I think that spent more money buying drinks for fans than I did on anything at the convention.

A few hours ago we wrapped up the week with dinner at the Gas Lamp Strip Club (the food is SO GOOD!!!) – and then we all boarded flights for our various destinations. I am currently in Chicago. I left San Diego at 11-ish PT and I landed here at 5-ish CT. I sit here for about three hours and I will get home at 10-ish EDT – assuming all goes well.

I cannot believe that the week is over. It absolutely flew by - it was a lot of fun. However, I am so excited to get home and see my wonderful wife and “child.” I know that Cayuga is not a real child…but he sure does get spoiled like one. Maybe next year I will be able to drag them out with me…well…at least Amy, the dog might not get to be THAT spoiled.

Pictures and video are slowly making their way up on our site – www.ifanboy.com. There might also be some more detailed descriptions of what exactly happened. In the meantime, I need to at least pretend to sleep before I jump on this connecting flight. More soon!

Past, present, future - no regrets!!!

2007-07-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

We all have a past. We have all done things that we regret…or that we should regret…or that were so damned ridiculous that all we can do is laugh, even if we didn’t laugh at the time such an event happened. I was recently reminded of such an event in my life – and what better way to share it then with the world wide web?

It all happened in the fall of my junior year of high school. I am sure of this for many reasons; I could drive; I was still a minor; it was tennis season; I was stupid. Before I go further I’ll go ahead and tell you the charges. Trespassing, violation of curfew, possession of illegal fireworks and resisting law enforcement. Now this should have immediately conjured up some imagery in your head…but I fear it is better than you are imagining. Just for posterity I am going to change the names of the other parties involved…I don’t feel right ratting them out.

Some friends and I headed up to Carmel for a little evening ruckus. No vandalism, nothing too dangerous, just four friends goofing around with some bottle rockets. We located a nice open field in Cool Creek Park. Since there were four of us, we split into teams of two for a bottle rocket war. A bottle rocket war is as stupid as it sounds…standing on opposite ends of a field you shoot bottle rockets across the field at the other people. I should note – that we were much further apart than the range of our bottle rockets – but for some reason it still seemed exciting.

Anyway – it’s sometime after midnight and we are having a glorious time with our little bottle rocket war. Unfortunately it seems that we did not really know our surroundings. Apparently on one end of this field that we were using as out Waterloo is a fire station. Firemen typically stay up all night – not that a bunch of bottle rockets wouldn’t have stirred them awake. So, it was no long before we had company in the form of law enforcement.

I should say – in my defense – I was on the far side of the field. So if somebody yelled “FREEZE” or anything of that nature – I did not hear it. Rather I saw some people running – so my partner “Brad” and I took off running. In a matter of seconds we were laying on our backs in a creek with just our mouths and noses above the water so we could breathe. It was like predator – we covered our bodies in mud and just laid as still as we could until the coast was clear. Elapsed time was roughly 30 minutes.

“Brad” and I slowly but surely made it back to the meeting point – which doubled as his parents house. We had done it – we had successfully escaped whatever travesty was out there – and potentially had our two unfortunate friends, “Scott” and “Matt”. The plan was to take a shower, go to bed and hope to not have to explain it later – at least until we knew what happened to our friends.

“Ring…ring…ring.”

Who in the hell would be calling Brad’s parents at this hour? Brad decided to answer – so as not to disturb his parents. It was the police. They were calling because they had two of our friends and they were wondering where we were. All this commotion got Brad’s parents moving – and before long we were on our way to the station. My parents had been called – and they were also making their way up north to save me from “Bubba” and the other inmates.

I would like to take a brief moment to point out that I am not using my accomplices’ names – but it would appear that two of them had no problems giving up my name to the police – AND – telling the police that I had provided the fireworks. Some friends.

My father – acting as my lawyer – sat in on my interrogation while my mother cried in the lobby and wondered where she went wrong as a parent. The interrogation was about what you would expect. I was in a chair, covered in mud, looking down at my feet and thinking about what I had done. My father – barely awake – was next to me. He was clearly upset but not showing it. The police office (not in a uniform) was acting like the tough cop. Good thing – we all know my size and stature and at the ripe age of 16 – I am sure that I was a force and quite threatening to the cop.

He asked me where I had gotten the fireworks. I lied – so as not to incriminate anybody else…

“Sir, I bought them myself at a stand in Broad Ripple. No sir, they did not ask me for identification.”

He asked what I was thinking and if I thought it was a good idea to have a bottle rocket war. I pointed out the obvious fact that it wasn’t a good idea. In retrospect, had we not gotten caught it wouldn’t have been a bad idea.

Then he got in my face and said, “Son, do you know how stupid you are? What if you had blow of your hand, or lost an eye? Then what? What kind of job can you have with one hand or one eye?”

With him in my face and without missing a beat I said, “Sir, I could be a pirate.”

At this point my father smacked me in the back of my head, the cop slammed his hands on his desk and I still sat in my chair. I went home that night – not having to spend any time in jail. I think we had got home at roughly 6 am – and my parents made me go to tennis practice at 8 am. My parents also told the coach of the night’s activities and he made me do sprints for the entire practice.

I did have to see a probation office one time – and then all the charges were dropped. I am sure that my parents grounded me for some amount of time. I think ultimately they realized the ridiculousness of the situation and couldn’t be that mad at me.

The other night I was enjoying dinner with my parents and we were reminiscing about this event. I finally told them where I had gotten the fireworks. But more importantly, I got my father to admit he wanted to laugh. When I said, “Sir, I could be a pirate,” he wanted to laugh. But he had to refrain because of the situation.

I never regretted the situation. I never regretted what I said to the officer. Now that I know my father appreciated the comment – I am proud to have said it. And…if I have a son and he is in the same ridiculous circumstance…I hope that he makes me proud, too.

NOTE: All fireworks are now legal in Indiana on PRIVATE property and I believe they have gotten rid of the curfew law (though that is not confirmed).

Wishing and hoping...

2007-07-13T00:26:00.000-07:00

I think that we all make “wish lists” throughout our lives. They can be simple material things, like an Amazon.com wish list. Sometimes it manifests as a Christmas list or perhaps a birthday list. There are also the less material lists – perhaps they are more like goals, or a life plan lists. Regardless, I think that in some shape or form most of us have made a list or lists like this…

The question is how do you prioritize and the list? And then after it is prioritized how do you go about making the things on the list happen? Or – are there things on that list that you have no control over (example – “I wish my favorite team would win the World Series”)?

How often do you re-prioritize the list? Maybe there is something on the list that you put on as a young child – and you have since realized that meeting Rowdy Roddy Piper is not as special as you once hoped…and therefore it should be removed or at least pushed down towards the bottom.

I can tell you that my list is long – and it contains all sorts of crap. Some are material, some are idealistic – it pretty much runs the gamut. Some of the things are probably “needs” not just “wants or wishes”…but it is hard to say.

Anyway – share your thoughts on lists. I am currently re-working mine and I am curious to see how you approach yours.

The joys of homeownership?

2007-07-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Warning this story contains adult language, rambling, sheer idiocy and a late night trip to Wal-mart. If you are prepared to read those things…continue.

There are so many nice things about owning a home. If you want to do something…you do it. There is no need to get permission from a landlord or super…the house is yours to wreck or improve as you please. Of course, if something goes wrong it becomes your responsibility to fix – there is no landlord or super to call.

As you may or may not know – we are in the process of improving our backyard. First was fixing up the barn followed by some landscaping, and then came the new fence. Last week Amy picked up new patio furniture to make it quite a lovely spot to sit and enjoy a meal or just the weather. I had the genius idea to run some speakers to the back patio. We have one of the “wireless” speakers that work with a little FM tuner – and it is OK. But there is really no substitute for hardwired speakers to help you fully enjoy the backyard experience.

I purchased all the necessary equipment and my dear friend Chad offered to give me a hand with the project. It is always more pleasant to wiggle through the crawlspace with a handful of wire if there is somebody with you. Scratch that – somebody with you that isn’t complaining about being down there.

Now – I shouldn’t even have to say this next part – but I will. We started the project much later in the evening than we should have. I had my evening class – and for some reason we still thought it was a good idea to start as the sun was setting. Much of our time was spent in the crawlspace – which is dark anyway – but this seems like it should have been a 3 PM project not a 9-ish PM project.

OK – so Chad and I are in the crawlspace. We decided that since we were down there we would go ahead and run cable not just to the outside speakers, but also to the back office and bedroom in the event I decide to hook speakers up there. How long do you think it was before Chad (a few feet in front of me whilst Army crawling) said, “Hey, it looks like there’s some water down here.”? Not long is the answer to that. Not long at all.

“FRACK!” There is nothing worse than water in the crawlspace. I have buried all of my gutter downspouts 25 feet from the house to avoid just this! That means that the water is worse…it means that most likely it is coming from the bathroom. “FRACK! Double FRACK!”

So – we finish the wire – at least that run of it – and we realize that we need more for the actual hook-up on the topside. So, at some late hour we ran to Wally World covered in “crawlspace crap”. There is nothing like a late night trip to Wal-mart…especially when they are renovating the entire store. We needed speaker wire on the night that they were moving the entire electronics section! What are the chances? Wal-mart’s Law (similar to Murphy’s Law) states very clearly that if you are sweaty, upset and in need of something – they will make it as difficult as possible to locate your item and be on your way. I know – that sounds exactly like Murphy’s Law – this difference is that Wal-mart’s Law has the addition of screaming children, regardless of the hour you are there. We did manage to find some buried in a shopping cart. What a pain, though. Man I really dislike Wal-mart. Can anything else stay open 24 hours…please?

Anyway – back to the shitty part of homeownership – water in the crawl. A year ago, our inspector told us that it looked as though there was “old damage” under a toilet that had been replaced prior to our purchase of the house. We have been operating under that assumption for the past year. It turns out that was not the case. Water has been going through bad grout in our shower! There is no shower wall left – it has all rotted away – and the subfloor is on its way out, too.

So – in an unexpected turn of events – we have another fun house project. We knew we wanted to work in the bathrooms – we just were hoping to wait a year or so.

I did get all the water out. Amy has removed LARGE portions of tile – and we are currently in the drying/repair mode on our shower. That means we have no shower to use. All we have is the tub. A bathtub is a great thing if you have a HUGE tub or you are 80 or if you are a baby…and know nothing better. For two people that are about to hit 30 – a bath everyday is gross. And for a guy that is my size (with a tub our size) a bath is just degrading. I simply cannot fit in the tub.

In other news…who am I kidding? There is no other news. This house consumes us. Every improvement is merely a window in the countless others that need to happen. So to all the kiddies out there – live at home. Live there forever. Then you don’t have to pay rent – there is no weird landlord to deal with – and any problems aren’t “your” problem…they are your parents’ problems.

NOTE: The speakers do work – and they are great.

An Ode to Graeter's

2007-07-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

Graeter’s ice cream IS the best thing on earth. Seriously.

Should we have moved back to Cincinnati? Did we make the wrong decision moving to Franklin where all we have is crappy Ritter’s?

The fact is – if I were basing my life on where to eat ice cream everyday – then yes, we made the wrong decision. However, I think we made this decision because of jobs – and being a college professor is much better than being a part time maintenance man. I just need to remember to drive to Cinti every few weeks and grab a few pints.

I have 6 in the freezer now. I *heart* you Graeter’s. Don’t change. Don’t ever change.

http://www.graeters.com/

ps – there is a real blog in the works…I am just having trouble writing it. It’ll be there soon.

Rings and things.

2007-06-22T21:44:00.001-07:00

It was a big week. I am not sure where to begin. Chronological is best I s’pose. For those of you that don’t know – Amy and I have been working HARD on our house. At the beginning of spring we began devoting time to the outside/curb appeal. One of the big things to change was the fence. We hired a wonderful gentleman named Blair Van Velse to do the ‘work’ on this. He and I worked together on a design – and within a week of starting, he was done. It looks amazing! These pictures don’t do much justice – you really have to experience the new backyard.

Olde tyme fence vs. NEW AND IMPROVED (click to enlarge)

Olde tyme fence vs. NEW AND IMPROVED (click to enlarge)

I will be running some electricity and speakers soon (with Chad). Additionally we will continue to landscape and re-seed the lawn. In a dream world I’ll put a bocce court along the back fence, but I’m not holding my breath. It should be a pretty amazing backyard by the time we have Amy’s BBQ in September. (see entry 'Soft Hands' to read about re-roofing the barn).

What else…what else? Oh right…today is the seven year anniversary of my best friend breaking my leg…which means we are just days away from my seventh wedding anniversary. In honor of this glorious achievement I decided to do something special for Amy. I designed a new ring. It is not meant to replace her old ring – maybe just to be worn on the other hand or something? Whatever she is comfortable with.

This ring has been in the works since November (original drawing) – and G Thrapp has been working on it for just over 2 months. They did a fantastic job. I hope I was not too annoying to work with – but as the picky designer, I really wanted to make sure it came out well. The stone is a briolette cut (in case you are wondering) – and it is a white gold band (the only thing strong enough to hold the shape/stone).

(click to enlarge, email with questions)

I assume next week will be not as eventful as this week. So…yeah…enjoy the pictures.

In the newspaper...and I didn't do something bad!

2007-06-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

So - I was in the paper today.

If you click on the image it gets larger and legible.

Autograph session on Monday.

Enjoy.

Soft hands

2007-06-18T18:50:00.000-07:00

I have unusually soft hands. They are not the softest in the world, but they are still quite soft. Before you start thinking that I don’t do anything that would “rough” them up – let me assure you – I do. I have done various forms of manual labor since I was in old enough to work. I have been a bicycle mechanic, theatre carpenter, metal sculptor, concrete sculptor, hours of landscaping; the list can go on and on. Not to mention the athletic things I have done that should build up calluses or otherwise “damage” my hands – tennis, golf, ultimate Frisbee, climbing, years of baseball – it just seems logical that my hands would be a little “rougher.” Hell, I even played guitar for a bit (not too long) – but long enough that it hurt the tips of my fingers.

I don’t want my hands to look like Clint Eastwood’s face – but I feel like people silently judge me because of their lack of coarseness. They think, “Oh, here comes that designer/professor guy, he doesn’t ever do any work – have you felt his hands?” I’m not really looking for sympathy, nor am I looking for suggestions on what do to “harden” my hands. Rather I was just using this as a lead in to something more substantial.

I know, I know – what could possibly mean more to ANYBODY than my soft hands? Well, not much, maybe this – US News had an article on their website the other day – it was called Best Careers 2007. My guess is the article is still up on their site if you are interested. The only career I remember from the list is college professor – and really I didn’t even look at the rest of the list. I am going to cut and paste what they say about it…

Professor: Executive Summary

By Marty Nemko

Posted 12/18/06

If you can land a tenure-track position at a four-year institution, you'll enjoy many advantages. You'll get the pleasure of teaching–but only six to 15 hours a week, so you're unlikely to burn out. Outside of class, you're required to meet with students, but that too is just a few hours a week. Most of the time, you'll do research or write on a scholarly topic that interests you. And in some specialties, you can pick up extra money by consulting. You also get to work in a delightful work environment: a college campus. Plus, after seven years, you get tenure–lifetime job security.

The downside? It's tough to land a tenure-track job. It helps if you were a star in your Ph.D. program–and it helps more if that was at a prestigious university. Obtaining a Ph.D. typically takes five to eight years once you've got a bachelor's degree. In sciences, you may also have to excel in a postdoctoral fellowship.

Be forewarned: Some academics complain about political correctness in the awarding of jobs and tenure, arguing that if you espouse conservative or libertarian theories regarding societal problems, you have a strike or two against you. And if you don't get a tenure-track job, you could end up teaching courses part time, like one third of faculty members at universities. You might land a full-time faculty position at a two-year community college, but some professors are frustrated by the heavier workload, and by a bigger intellectual gap between students and instructors.

Median Salary

$73,666. More specific salary data, provided by salary.com

So – I have a few things to say. First – who is getting paid a TON to make up for my salary? I am not complaining…but if the median salary is $73,000 – well – I just hope that one day I am on the OTHER end of the spectrum. Second – I don’t really have anything else to say. I do consider myself very lucky for landing a tenure track position. I hope it leads to tenure…

Anyway – this sort of got me thinking. For years I wanted to be a freelance designer/artist. I thought it would be an incredibly romantic and exciting way to make a living. I was unaware how much I would actually enjoy the professor thing (and not just because I make my dad call me professor Strain). In just my first year I have done some amazing things with my career – all with the stability of a steady job. I could ramble on and on about the good – but there is yet another purpose to all of this.

With all of these thoughts in my mind, I spent the weekend working in my yard. We are having a new fence put in (which thankfully I am not doing much for), I had to bury some downspouts, loads of planting, today I just finished reroofing the HUGE barn. As I sat on the barn…sweating…something crossed my mind. Being a roofer would suck – A LOT! My barn is not really huge – I can only imagine what it would be like to actually do an entire roof.

So, without further adieu, here is a list of the top 25 worst jobs (at least for me). I will make large and gross generalizations here…and…I appreciate people who do these jobs – I just don’t want them. Note: these are in no particular order.

1. Roofer.

2. Landscaper.

3. ANYTHING in food service.

4. Lawyer (sorry Dad).

5. Anything in the medical professions.

6. House painter.

7. Lowe’s employee.

8. Any retail employee.

9. Freelance designer/artist (I am learning to find romance in security).

10. Anything in safety/security.

11. Anything involving sanitation/trash.

12. Dog poop scooper (there’s a company in Franklin that does it).

13. Appliance installer/remover (appliances are heavy and used ones are GROSS).

14. Dry cleaner/launderer.

15. Mortician/undertaker.

16. President of the U.S.

17. Web developer/computer programmer.

18. Planet Earth videographer (they spend months in caves/deserts, etc.).

19. Anything that requires EARLY mornings…unless I can just stay up the night before.

20. Anything airline related – pilot, steward, guy with the cones…

21. Any desk/cubicle job.

22. Pilgrim (mostly because I hate Thanksgiving).

23. Gas station attendant.

24. Car salesman.

25. Lumberjack (see previous blog).

So – I think that sums that up. As I mentioned earlier – I really do appreciate the people that do these jobs, they are just not for me. As a matter of fact it seems that there are only a few jobs that I am suited for/capable of. Firstly and most obviously – the job I am in. It would also appear that I could make it as a strip club owner or perhaps a lingerie designer. I don’t really think that there are even any other jobs, are there? I am sure I covered them all. So – if I ever finish with this professor thing I have two options.

What about you, faithful reader? What job are you in? What job can you not stand? What is your dream job? Do you have soft hands? Are you a pilgrim?

Before you cut...

2007-06-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

We have decided to put in a new fence. More to the point, we have decided to hire somebody to put in our new fence. I know what you are thinking. “Why? you know how to build things…how to layout/design a fence. Why not just do it yourself. For goodness sake, you have a degree in carpentry and another degree in design. How hard can it be?”

Well – you have valid thoughts. But guess what – your thoughts don’t mean shit to me. My job is to design and build things. That means when I get home and have to do it, it is not a “relaxing way to escape from work.” Rather it is just like work – except that Amy is not one of my employees – so we don’t really work well together. We do all right – but I generally get cranky because that’s what I do.

Anyhoo, Blair came to our house today to remove our old fence. Great – get rid of the old rotten red thing. The removal of said fence meant that I could now get the chainsaw out and remove the GIGANTIC bush in the back corner…as well as the little pine tree in the corner that is clearly on its last leg. When I say it – it sounds like a very easy after dinner type of job. I can repeat it a hundred times…it just seems like it shouldn’t take more than an hour. After all, I’m not using an ax, or a hand saw.

Well, as with any other “little” project we have attacked in this house, this one ending up sucking too. No matter how much planning we do, nothing seems to work well (now do you understand why I hired somebody to put in the fence?). OK – so the GIGANTIC bush was not so bad…if you ignore the poison ivy. The tree…well…the tree was not so good.

Some years ago our neighbor with the “shit for yard” (see RIP Rocky for more explanation) built a fence right next to the tree. Literally right next to it – as in one of the pickets was not even screwed in; rather it was just wedged between the tree and the 2x4 support. Anyway, the screws were on “my” side of the fence, so it seemed like a good idea to remove a few pickets in order to have better cutting access and to prevent breaking any pickets on their fence. I have ZERO desire to upset these people, let alone talk to them. So, if removing a bit of fence – just to put it back up – means that they will never know I was there, it is totally worth it.

In case you can’t see it coming, this is where things start going wrong. I was able to pull out five pickets around the tree. With the pickets removed I was “graced” with a few of all the crap in their yard. Little did I know that soon I would be in their yard…holding up a HUGE FUCKING PINE TREE and their fence. But let us not get ahead of ourselves.

At this point Amy’s dad is using the chain saw and I am pulling on a rope that I have attached to the tree in hopes of pulling the tree towards my yard and away from the power lines…and their fence. As you know, the rope trick did not work. It might have started to work – but one man and a rope only has so much control over 2 tons of falling pine. In a matter of seconds the tree was neatly captured on their fence…and pushing it over quickly. I am paying to get my fence replaced, not theirs. And – their fence is oddly close to their pool – and I had no desire to explain that…let alone clean out their pool (who knows what is even in it – sulfuric acid?).

In a flash I was through the hole in the fence, using every bit of strength I had to support the tree/fence. Amy’s father is desperately trying to get the chain saw “unstuck” from the tree that is no resting on the blade. Did I mention that is dark? The sun set roughly 45 minutes ago. Amy and her mother have no decided that we need more help. They went running to the neighbors in hopes of finding another saw, more hands – maybe a time machine? Any would have helped at this point.

Roughly an eternity later Amy returned with our neighbor and a chain saw. I was able to cut some of the precarious branches that were catching on the fence. Eventually we were able to de-lodge the tree and roll it safely into our yard. We did also manage to find spare pickets hidden amongst the crap in the neighbor’s yard. I casually grabbed a few and quickly repaired their fence.

My hands are still covered in sap. My leg has a mysterious (and bloody) gouge in it, but the tree is down. The fence is still up – and there is no reason the neighbor should notice anything wrong with it. All in all, things worked out (as they always seem to do) – sadly they did not work out until MANY hours after we started. I assume we will get some complaints from other neighbors about the hours in which we had a chainsaw going. Oh well. At least nobody had to go to the emergency room.

What products do you buy?

2007-06-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Remember the days before DRV or TiVo? You might record your favorite shows with a VCR – or (even worse) – you might have to actually be home when they are on. How medieval. But now you just set your handy little device at the beginning of the season and you are done. Amazing. What a fantastic world we live in. I rarely watch live TV anymore…it annoys me.

It annoys me because (mostly anyway) of the commercials. You know, those product pushing things that happen for 3-4 minutes after 8 minutes of show (LOST – I’m talking to you). Ah yes, commercials, I see that it is ringing a bell.

You see, advertisers buy time in popular shows in the hopes that lots of people will see their product and then a few might go buy it. It used to be that the Super Bowl was just as famous for the commercials as it was for the football game. For some people it is/was probably more about the commercials. The past couple of years the commercials have not been that good – which is a little sad (although this year I was much more interested in the game – GO COLTS!).

Anyway, this was intended to be a blog about a commercial I just saw…and a few of my other favorites. I see them in the mornings – I watch the Today Show in my room without DVR (so no fast forwarding). And when I say “favorites” there are so many classifications – humor, visual interest…and probably some other stuff. At the end of a quality commercial I often say, “I’d buy that” or “if I didn’t already have insurance…” – this is just a little acknowledgement for all the hard work that went into the 30 second art.

My number one commercial (right now): The scene opens with an Eric Carl-esque (The Very Hungry Caterpillar) bug crawling on some leaves. It is a fascinating 2D art look – almost like flat papier-mâché with water color on top. The pictures take us through a garden, around an apple tree with a snake and eventually to a lake with some fish. The scene ends with a dinosaur foot stepping in the lake, narrowly missing a fish. In case you haven’t seen, the commercial is for the Creation Museum in Kentucky. Yes, the garden we just moved through was the Garden of Eden – you know…that place where Adam and Eve hung out with dinosaurs. I will refrain from giving all my thoughts on evolution vs. creation in this blog…

So why do I love that commercial so much? Well, at first I just love the artistry of it. It really is visually stimulating – inspiring, even. There is also a certain level of humor in it, at least for me. I like to think of the creative team that came up with it. For some reason they are all sitting in a room and thinking about how serious this is, and truly believing it. That’s funny to me.

Another good right now is for Stanley Steamer Carpet Cleaners. It is a young boy saying “Mom, check out Toby’s new trick” then we flash to a shot of Toby (a large yellow lab) dragging his but across the carpet. This is a hilarious site, especially for all dog owners who have seen this same sight in person.

Geico has had a fairly good run recently. 5 years ago they had an amazing commercial involving a stuffed dear and a jogger. If that doesn’t ring a bell, I’m sorry. You missed a fantastic commercial. But recently they have been doing the caveman thing – which is now being turned into a (probably bad) sitcom. I still snicker at the commercials, though.

Finally, I will end this with a great series of commercials; the “Sportscenter” commercials on ESPN. Wow. These use a slew of sports super stars and put them in funny cubicle/office situations with the various anchors of Sprortscenter. It can be anything from the Manning family having a scuffle to Lebron wondering where his chair went. These are all just comic genius. They should put them all on a DVD. I cannot believe I just asked for a DVD full of commercials.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I’ll just leave you with this question…what’s your favorite commercial? And I should specify – that airs in this country. Because we all know that other countries are much racier and much funnier with their advertising. Or...do you even watch commercials, or do you just fast forward through them like I try to do?

The infinite wisdom of my 4 year old dog...

2007-05-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Cayuga will turn four in a couple of days. However, according to his “real age” test that we did online he is nearly 17 (6 years younger than average – which is a good thing). In his four years Cayuga has done many things. Some good, some bad – but all were learning experiences – for both of us. Here is the list, from Cay’s perspective (in no particular order) -

If it is nice outside, why are we inside?

I don’t care how many beds, pillows or blankets you buy me, your bed and your pillow are the most comfortable, so scoot over.

There is nothing better than a cookie.

Screen doors are silly contraptions – if I can see through it, and hear through it, I should be able to walk through it.

It seems like you might have forgotten about me, so I am just going to stand under you and bark, loudly.

Dishwashers are scary and it’s OK to hide behind the toilet while they are running.

Some days it is OK to do nothing but lay on the couch.

If it hits the floor it is fair game.

If it is on the edge of the table it is fair game.

If I can get remotely close to it, it is fair game.

Grandmothers were invented to spoil grandpuppies.

…if by saying “trashcan” you mean “feast”…

Dogs sniff other dog’s butts, that’s what we do, deal with it.

Did I mention, if it is nice outside, why are we inside?

I don’t care how many times you say it – I’m going to poop in the neighbor’s yard and make you pick it up with that baggie.

I know it looks like I’m out of pee, but I am still going to stop at every mailbox on the way home.

I’m only tough when the other dog is behind a fence, a window or on a leash. When they get close I actually want you to pick me up and protect me.

I’m a cute dog – and I attract cute girls.

If you are not doing anything with those hands, why don’t you rub my face or belly?

I see that you are busy with your hands, why don’t you rub my face or belly?

If chocolate is so bad for me, why does it taste so good – and why do you keep so much of it around the house?

Why do you fold the laundry if you know that I am just going to play in it?

By the way, dirty socks are way tastier than clean ones.

It’s much more fun to get up and play at 4 am than it is to sleep through the night.

Hey, there’s somebody here! Hey, there’s somebody here! Hey, there’s somebody here! Oops…false alarm.

Is it time to eat, yet? How come your food looks better? Can I have just a bite?

I love you no matter what.

Is that a bunny? Let me out. Is that a bunny? Let me out. Is that a bunny.

So, those are the thoughts and wisdoms of a very VERY spoiled dog. Ruff life.

Morrissey = messiah

2007-05-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and as expected I have been delayed in talking about it. So – here I am. Early on Monday morning I feel like my head is clear enough (or am I just tired enough) that I can write about a few things.

First of all, Amy I went to a concert in Chicago last weekend. We saw Regina Spektor at the Riveria with my brother and his girlfriend. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from her concert. Obviously, I know her music – as everybody should. But what I didn't know was how she would be in a large public setting – in her videos and in interviews she always seems so shy and…well…almost introverted. Personally, I have no problem with that – I just didn't know how that was going to play in a large theatre.

Upon walking into the Riv we noticed just a piano, the piano bench and a chair. Um…OK. If you have listened to her latest album, Begin to Hope (which is what she is currently promoting) it is very clearly a "produced" album – with lots of instruments, etc. I didn't doubt that the songs would sound good only on the piano (as they were probably written), I just didn't expect it. "Fidelity" which gets a lot of air time just seems like it needs the rest of the music behind it.

After suffering through "Only Son" – the opening act that maybe wasn't so bad, but I am so old that I hate opening acts – Regina walked out. She looked shy, introverted and cute. She immediately walked to the microphone and started singing a capella – tapping the microphone with her finger to keep a beat. Eventually she moved to the piano and I was lost in her charm. She is shy…and all about the music. She doesn't really talk of try to build a relationship (at least a talking relationship) with the audience. That being said, when she is singing she is completely immersed in the music – and still she never takes herself too seriously. A few songs had obvious "bad" notes or missed notes on the piano. She usually laughed it off, or cussed about it to the delight of the audience. One song she even decided to start over after profusely apologizing. How cute is that?

So, she played piano, sang a capella, at one point played a guitar – then for "Hotel Song" she brought "Only Son" back out and he redeemed himself by acting as a human beat box while she sang. It was clear they were having a good time with it…as every time they looked at each other they both started to laugh. All in all it was a great concert. I don't think I would have liked hearing a band. It was much better with just her…better than the albums. Her stage presence works for her. The "shy" thing plays as very cute. So – I am keeping my eyes open for her next trip this way…I heard a rumor that she is actually coming to Indy. Oh – and the lighting sucked. Like – it was absolutely terrible.

On our way back home, Amy and I stopped to see my grandparents. My grandfather is in his 90's and just recently had a stroke. My grandmother is suffering from Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia. They were both great! My grandfather was excited to show us his scar from his recent surgery – and then he started complaining because the doctor told him not to play golf for a few weeks. I love resilient old people. It is comforting to see that they can still be healthy even if they are old.

So…what else has happened? Well, I have finished my first year as a college professor – and I am still standing, bichessss! I feel like I had a great year. My students are great; the people that I work with are great. I feel like I have support when I need it – I have a nice office – and I get summers off… I finished all of my grading early – which is a wonderful feeling. It sucked because I locked myself in my office for many hours on a BEAUTIFUL day – but it was so worth it just to be done. My final requirement of the year was to attend graduation this past Saturday. It was a bittersweet day. The speaker was terrible – but what can you do?

Last night Ron and I went to see Morrissey…again. I'm not sure how many times we have seen him now. But this was special…because he was playing in Indianapolis. What? Yes – I said Indianapolis. I know – weird, right? He played at the Murat. It wasn't quite sold out – or at least it wasn't full – which pisses me off, but what can you do? Moz said he hasn't been to Indiana for nearly 30 years when he was here working on a James Dean tribute. 30 years – begs the question if I am his illegitimate son…maybe?

So, last Thanksgiving, Ron and I saw this same tour when he made a random Chicago stop between Mexico and Iceland or something. But still, this show had this weird magic around it because it was here in Indy (and I am convinced he will never be back here). The show gets a 7 out of 10. Moz was his typical self indulgent, pompous and insecurely arrogant self (too many selfs?). It's nice to know that some things never change.

Unlike Regina, Moz acts like a (48 year old) rock star. And that's OK. He has earned it, and the audience will continue to give him what he wants, so more power to him. The crowd was a mix…the lady next to me was very drunk and in her mid 40's. There were a lot like her. The hot lady in front of us was in her 30's and wouldn't stop screaming…but she just kept screaming the same thing – and that got annoying. We saw the typical high school kids with their "Smiths" shirts on. We also saw a mom come in with her 6-ish year old daughter. I swear that K-Fed was there, too…or somebody that looked like him. The volume was too loud – and I hate that. The lighting was very good, much better than it was at the Aragon. The gigantic gong was still underutilized – and the guy on the horns was over utilized – but that just feeds into Morrissey being self indulgent – as does ending the encore early because he was having monitor issues.

I have never bought a t-shirt or any such paraphernalia from a Morrissey concert – or from any concert. Well – I broke down and bought a belt buckle. So – after 10 years of my beloved Campagnolo buckle I am switching to my slightly homo-erotic "Morrissey" belt buckle. Amy saw it and decided to ask me if I still like women. Never fear readers…I do still love the ladies. I don't love my messiah in "that" way – not that I would turn him down…anyway why do I call him a messiah? Well – he brings young and old together for a common goal. People faint when the touch him. He sits (happily) on his pedestal and looks at his followers. Some follow because they are sad and find comfort in his music – others see the humor in it. Some people just love him for his hair. Regardless, every show is an experience…different from any other concert I have ever been to. Rufus is the only one that comes close to comparing in terms of attitude, self-indulgence and general conceitedness, and I believe he has been dubbed "the gay messiah" – maybe Moz is "the celibate messiah."

I think that is all for now. 1^st official day of summer. I need a nap. I need a car wash. I need to find something interesting to write about.

Secret Squirrel?

2007-05-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

Dear reader - sorry it is late - sorry it is not proofed. Please enjoy.

"What is your least favorite day of the week?"

I distinctly remember being asked that question by a classmate in 4^th grade. You see, at that time we were all reading the Garfield books. Garfield hated Monday – especially Monday the 13^th. At that time I didn't really understand why. As I aged I learned that he was referring to Monday being the day that most people didn't work. Even though he didn't work – his character (I think) was still speaking to workers that might be considered "stuck" in their jobs and thus dreading Monday.

In fourth grade I am fairly certain that I answered "Monday" because of Garfield.

If you asked me last week I am not sure what I would have said. Sunday sucks because – although it is the weekend – there is work the next day…usually a lot to catch up on, etc. Wednesday day is annoying. I don't teach on Wednesday – but it is like a fake weekend. I know that I should go to the theatre and do some work – and that I have get up early on Thursday for class.

Well, today is Tuesday. As of right now I am officially declaring Tuesday my least favorite day of the week. Last Tuesday I submitted a story to this blog…it started by noting that Amy wakes up earlier than me on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. That has not changed. Today, Amy got up earlier than me.

I woke up a little while later to a blood curdling scream. I was in a daze – I thought I was dreaming. Why would Amy be screaming? What in the hell is going on? As my mind made its way into reality I realized what she was screaming.

"CAYUGA!!! GET BACK IN HERE!!! GET AWAY FROM THAT!!! CAAAAAAAAYUGAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Are you kidding me? Another squirrel? There was another dead squirrel in my yard – and this time the dog found it before we did. A frazzled Amy came and got me from my slumber. The best we could tell the dog hadn't tried to eat the squirrel, he was just sort of sniffing it…and rolling on it.

"I'm late and the dog needs a bath."

Those were the last words I heard as Amy left to tend to her 2^nd graders.

A bath?!?!?! I pay somebody to give my dog baths. He goes to a doggy spa – his day of haircutting, bathing and relaxing is more money than three of my haircuts. I don't know how to bathe him…and I am still supposed to be sleeping.

I threw him (nicely) in the shower. Fortunately I installed one of those "removable showerheads" so I was able to hold him and the shower. This situation was already on the fast track to something from the Three Stooges, or America's Funniest Home Videos. Imagine me in my PJ's – still mostly asleep (I am sure that I looked as though I wouldn't have passed a sobriety test), the dog soaking wet…crying in the corner of the shower – and dog shampoo (or is it soap) EVERYWHERE.

I should point out at this point that my cute little white fluffy dog looks like a sad old man when he is wet. Not a dog…an old man. It is funny and sad all at the same time.

I should also note that Cayuga cannot just be washed and left to dry. Because of his hair, he has to be blown dry and brushed as you go. If not, he gets tangled, matted and it is uncomfortable for him – and for us when his regular groomer yells at us.

There we are, in the bathroom – Cayuga whining and crying like I am eating his little leg off. If a neighbor had walked by, they would have been in a right mind to call the police with all the noise he was making.

When the hair dryer came out – Cayuga looked at me with that look that says "you are not putting that thing anywhere near me…consider yourself warned."

"Cayuga," I said, "it is far too early in the morning to fight with you. I have to get to school and set up my paint lecture. You have to be dry in order for me to do that. Sit your ass down, or I'll sit it for you."

It was like the showdown at the OK Corral – only one side was going to make it out alive. I was just hoping that Wyatt Earp was on my side.

I flipped on the hair dryer and the barking commenced. It is no secret that I hate Cayuga's bark – it is surprisingly loud given his size. It is even louder when you are closed up in a tiny bathroom.

I moved in. At the top of my lungs I shouted "bark all you want, I'm not stopping until you look like a dog again, little old man."

The barking stopped. He glared at me. Then he went back to barking. I knew that if I could hold out a little bit longer he would grow tired of the noise, too. It only took 10 minutes, but I outlasted the dog. Yes, my ears were ringing – but I had won this battle.

As with most dogs, after the barking comes the biting. Cayuga is not a vicious biter, rather, he sometimes 'mouths' when playing. He sort of uses his mouth as an extension or a hand or something. He doesn't clamp down…he just plays. And he knows it gets a reaction. After all the barking I felt like I was on my last nerve. How much 'biting' would I be able to put up with? More importantly – is he like this with the groomer, or is it special for dad?

I don't want to bore you with any more of the pain and suffering we both endured to get through the process. Just know that Cayuga was dried and brushed…and there was not much bloodshed in the end.

But that's not the end of the story. What about the squirrel? It is yet to be cleaned up. Fortunately, I had my system from last week. I would save myself the annoyance and humor of pitching it over the fence. No – this time I went out shovel in one hand and "cinch sack" in the other.

"Umm…"

The squirrel wasn't there. Is it possible I am looking in the right spot? I thought I saw it earlier – but I was in such a daze I might have confused it for a leaf. As I scanned the yard I realized I was right. There it was – over next to the fence.

As I went down for the 'scoop' his head turned.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I screamed – and possibly wet my pants a little bit.

It was alive. Not very alive – but alive and aware. It was staring at me with that look that says "don't put me in that shovel. I'm still alive and trying to get to that tree over there."

I wanted to help – I really did. But, the sad truth is that the bathing took so long I had to get to my class.

I helped the little guy hobble over to a whole in the fence. Sure – he might be in my neighbor's yard – but he was dying. My plan was to come back right after class to provide the proper burial like I did last week.

I did make it to class on time – barely. I didn't have time to set up, but I worked it out. The real problem was after class. I quickly scampered home to make everything right. The squirrel was gone. Seriously. I hate to end the story this way – but I only speak the truth. I looked everywhere for the little guy. There is no way he could have moved. When I saw him an hour earlier he was knock knock knocking on heaven's door. There is no way he could have gone anywhere…but he did.

I've named him Secret. Homage to the wonderful cartoon, Secret Squirrel and it leaves room in the event I ever find a mole.

One class, one clean dog and one missing squirrel later – my day was off to an amazing start. Stear clear of me on Tuesday. It is my least favorite day of the week.

RIP Rocky (and Rocky II)

2007-04-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Tuesday and Thursday Amy wakes up at 6:15 and I wake up at 7:30. Normally after she is up and ready to go she stops and says "bye" to me – and that is that. This morning was different. At 6:45 I was shaken awake…

"Gordon, wake up!"

"What?! Is everything OK?"

"Yeah – there is a dead squirrel in the backyard. Make sure you clean it up before you let the dog out. I don't want him to eat it."

I groaned… "OK – I'll clean it up before I let Cay out" and then I was asleep again.

At 7:30 I woke up and slowly rolled over. Cayuga was still asleep. I carefully slipped out of the bed so as not to disturb him. I wanted to take care of this "squirrel situation" before he was begging to go out. No dice. As soon as I was out the backdoor with the shovel I saw Cayuga sitting by the door with his legs crossed and that look on his face. You know the look that says – "I really have to pee…look at all that grass – why won't you open this door?"

I looked back him with the look that says "I know buddy – I will let you out once I get rid of this dead squirrel so that I don't worry about you tracking bits and pieces of it all around the house."

As I turned to meet my destiny, I saw something else. It was another dead squirrel. There were two now?!?! In the time that Amy told me about one, another had died.

I should say that in the back of my head I was wondering if they were really dead. A few weeks ago while mowing my lawn a squirrel fell from a tree and landed with a hard thud. It looked deader than a doornail. Its legs were up, it wasn't moving. As I got closer to "inspect" the creature – its eyes popped open and it jumped up…wobbled a little and scampered back up the tree. I did all I could to keep from screaming and wetting my pants.

After an event like that, you can start to see my reservations with dealing with "dead" squirrels. So I crept up to my brown and furry friend – armed with my shovel in case it was "faking."

I tapped it with my shovel. It was stiff…very stiff. I turned around and saw Cayuga again…I had to act quickly.

Now – I need to give a little more background. In our neighborhood people take care of their yards. It is not like we all have putting greens, but they are usually well tended and presentable. That is everybody except for the house directly behind us. They have grass that is never mowed, more garbage than you can shake a stick at, a pool that has NEVER been opened – and more concrete lawn ornaments than stars in the sky. And it all looks awful. Really awful. Downright hideous.

With Cayuga on my mind and a squirrel in my hand I decided my best option was just to throw the thing over the fence. Surely they would never see the thing…and if they did they would just think it was a dead squirrel – not something that I threw over the fence. Besides, it serves them right – they should take better care of their house.

I launched little Rocky over the fence and ran to get the other.

"Hang on, Cayuga!!! I'll be there in a second."

When I touched Rocky II he was soft…very soft. He was either freshly dead, or faking. Panic set in. I was starting to think that this one might jump up mid-process. My shovel dexterity was gone…and I was freaking out. I couldn't get him on the shovel!!! I scanned the yard and found a stick. Quickly I was able to use a "chopstick" maneuver and get him onto the shovel.

I quickly turned to check out Cayuga. In my haste the squirrel fell off the shovel.

"OH SHIT!!! Shit shit shit shit."

I scampered to get it back on the shovel. Fortunately I still had my stick. After a brief moment I had launched Rocky II to his final resting spot.

"Rest in peace, guys!" I shouted as I went to let the dog out.

Feeling somewhat satisfied with my work I went about the rest of my day as normal. However, as the morning went on I started thinking about the earlier events of the day. One dead squirrel was fine. Two dead squirrels was odd. Very odd. And now they were laying conspicuously close to each other…conspicuously close to my fence. I did the wrong thing. Not only did I disrespect the deceased squirrels, but I had thrown them into my neighbor's yard. Regardless of how nasty their yard is – the squirrels died in my yard. This was my problem. And now it was more of a problem.

My fence is tall. Very tall. And they have a fence, too. And their yard is LITTERED with "No Trespassing" signs. I wasn't sure what to do. All I knew was I had to get those squirrels back.

Here were the options as I saw them…I could wait until dark, wear all black and sneak into their yard, get my squirrels and get out. They have dogs in kennels, so I would have to be careful not to wake them. Not that they could chase me – but they could bark and raise suspicion. Another option was to just walk over – knock on the door – tell them what I did and face the music. OK – that was not really an option – but I had to think it. And then I was out of options. I needed more time…I needed a plan. A good plan.

Then it hit me, like a squirrel falling from the sky, I could just remove a bunch of planks from my fence. Then, I could crawl through, collect the squirrels, crawl back through and put the fence back together. GENIUS!!! This would surely reverse any bad karma – and I could totally explain it if I got caught by the neighbor. "Oh – I am just working on the fence. It looks a little rotted here. Oh – I noticed some dead squirrels, thought I'd clean those up for you." Talk about a win win situation.

So – at 8:30 this evening I went to work with a hammer and a crowbar. I started tearing planks apart on the fence. Sure enough - there they were. Two squirrels, peacefully lying on top of each other – arms (paws?) gracefully holding each other for all of eternity. Almost too peaceful to disturb.

I used my grill tongs to pick them up. I didn't want to deal with the shovel again…and I am in need of new tongs anyway. One might think it is degrading to a squirrel to be picked up in such a manner – but I think I was doing a service to my furry friends. I was helping to give them a proper burial. They deserve that.

So there I stood – squirrels in tongs. They were both stiff by now – it had been nearly 12 hours. Squirrels are heavier than you might think. Then again, maybe you think they are heavy. Regardless, I was surprised. Rocky II was clearly heavier.

I neatly placed the little angels into a "hefty cinch sack" – which is basically the squirrel equivalent to a titanium coffin. The finest money can buy. I carried the little bag around to the front. I noticed my karma changing already. Today is Tuesday – trash gets picked up tomorrow. Jackpot.

I buried the interlocked squirrels in with the rest of my trash. I bowed my head…said a few words. I ran inside hoping to find a Woodchuck in the fridge – I thought it might be a nice gesture to "pour one out" – and I don't think there are any squirrel beers.

I found a Miller High Life in the fridge. Not a Woodchuck – but still oddly appropriate. "Rest well little guys. May your afterlife be the High Life."

Now, some hours later I write this and it is pouring down rain outside. I am glad that I took care of this earlier. I would hate to be wet. I am glad the squirrels are in a hefty cinch sack. I would hate for them to be wet. We all deserve better.

*I thought about posting the pictures with this. But I did not want to subject you to pictures of me...with tongs...and squirrels. Maybe I will - in case you are doubting the truth of this.

Judge me - I don't care

2007-03-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

My favorite show on television is Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I don't know why - seriously. I don't. I have watched every episode - starting at teh very beginning of season 1.

I am not sure what my attraction to the show is. Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris are TERRIBLE!!! I am not saying I can host a show - but I would like to believe that if I did - I would do a better job.

The stars - well - there is always the question as to their actual "star-ness." I mean - I guess you could argue the star power for all of them. Certainly they all have more celebrity than I do.

It is safe to say I don't know much about dancing. Scratch that - everything I know about dancing I learned from this show. Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba have taught me more about ballroom and latin style dancing than you can shake a stick at. And by stick I mean your hips in a mambo (which was born in the 40's as a mix between Cuban dance and American swing). I am no expert - but I feel like I know what they are looking for with each dance.

There is a certain charm to the dancers - well - some of them. In some ways I feel as though they have more celebrity than the "stars." Take Cheryl Burke, for example. Her first season (2) she was paired with Drew Lachey - you know...Nick's brother...Jessica's ex-brother in law. Although that was her first season - she qucikly exploded onto the scene. She won that year - and the following year with better known partner Jerry Rice. This year she is paired with Ian Ziering. IAN ZIERING!!! Nobody even liked Steve Sanders!!! He was like - the one that nobody wanted to care about on 90210. OK Steve - you have a fast car - can we get back to Dylan...because he is cool and has NICE hair!!! Cheryl trumps him - plus she is really cute.

I think that the "man-stars" have a MUCH better chance of winning this show. Yeah - that ho-bag won season 1 - but that was a DIRECT result of no clothes and her daytime TV status...but she was not the better dancer. Stacey Kiebler made a GREAT run - and I thought she might pull it off - but it seems that in this style of dancing this woman has more to do. So - the "women-stars" might have a harder time/more work? I don't know...I am just a casual observer.

Anyway - having said all of that - I will now grace you with my picks for this season. I think that Apolo Anton Ohno and his partner (18 year old) Julianne Hough will win. He is the darkhorse. I had hopes - but he is GOOD. She is cute - they look great together - they get along. I think that Joey Fatone and his partner Kym Johnson will do well. Kym got Jerry Springer FAR in the competition last year...and he was terrible. Although Joey is a "Fat-One" he has moves, style and charisma. I think that Ian and Cheryl will be strong - but no 3-peat for Cheryl. She is great - but Steve is Steve...he is not worrying about dancing. He is worrying about what "Steve" looks like while dancing. I think that if Heather Mills stays long enough - her leg WILL fall off. I think that the 2 other atheletes (Miss Ali and The Glide) will have early exits...though not as early as Billy Ray Cyrus. The other three contestants are just filler - so they can drag the show on longer. I feel bad for their partners who are going to work hard...but age and other factors will take them out.

So those are my thoughts on the show. I think it will be a good season. I will watch it - I will get excited to speculate about the stars for the following season. I will be sad when they finally announce them...and I will go through the whole routine again. If you don't already watch - I won't tell you to watch it. It is not the kind of show that everybody likes. If you do watch...we can start a club.

Another show...another set of reviews

2006-12-19T12:47:00.000-08:00

Cardinal Stage opened its holiday family musical A Year with Frog and Toad last Friday night. The Herald-Times' declared that the Buskirk-Chumley Theater was "thoroughly invaded by giddy, laughing adults and their children" and WFIU called Cardinals' Frog and Toad "a magically realized production."

In his Herald-Times review, Glenn Kaufmann has more to say:

Hard on the heels of its acclaimed production of Unveiling, Cardinal Stage has once again shown its ability to mindfully produce thought-provoking, visually inventive, yet universally appealing theater. From the minute you enter the lobby, where children are presented with frog beanbags, you can't help but get caught up in the kid-friendly ambiance. And once you enter the already enchanting Buskirk-Chumley Theater, Gordon Strain's nuanced and deliciously textured sets spirit you away. Alexandra Morphet's clever costumes manage to keep children giggling and parents laughing.

WFIU's George Walker agrees, calling the set "eye catching" and the costumes "colorful and imaginative." Mr. Walker goes on to add that Esther Widlandski's "lively choreography" was "just the right mix of simplicity and cleverness."

Both reviewers also weigh in on the acting. Mr. Kaufmann notes that, "Mike Price (Frog) and Chris Aruffo (Toad) do a fantastic job of portraying their parts, but more important, have chemistry that makes their friendship seem a living, breathing entity all its own — almost a third character on stage." Mr. Walker adds that, "Mike Price was a totally engaging as Frog and was equally matched by his slightly shyer but still outgoing friend Toad played by Chris Aruffo." Walker adds that, "Anjanette Armstrong, Phoebe Spier and Alex Shotts made up the trio of birds who dramatically and tunefully set the seasons of the year," and "Shotts had the repeat comic turns of the night as the slow moving, but dedicated 'snail with the mail.'"

Mr. Kauffmann adds that A Year with Frog and Toad has "a very tight ensemble that is capable of simultaneously entertaining the children and imparting just the right measure of seriousness when the moment calls for it." Kaufmann concludes by saying that, "in the end, White and his team have done a remarkable job creating a "children's" play that is a visual treat, teaches children (and adults) a number of life lessons, and is just plain fun to watch. ?

While the kids in the audience were the focus of the evening, Mr. Walker concludes his glowing review by noting that, "it was the greyer heads that started the standing ovation at the curtain call." Cardinal Stage's production of A Year with Frog and Toad is definitely for all ages!

A Year with Frog and Toad plays the Buskirk-Chumley this Friday at 7:30pm and Saturday at 2pm and 7:30pm. Tickets are available at the Sunrise Box Office (812 323 3020), bloomingtonarts.info, and at Bloomingfoods East.

McDonalds...

2006-12-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

For some reason I was reminded of this little incident today - and I thought that I would share it with my loyal readers. That way - when I get published - you can say you knew me when...

I was headed to Canada to see some plays at the Stratford festival. We were hoping to make good time on the way, so we decided to eat fast food on the way up - rather then stopping for food that we might actually enjoy.

We were some where in Northern Indiana - I really don't know where - but it was up there. We saw a McDonalds - and a gas station - so we decided the fates were with us and we stopped for a double fill.

My friend Leslie and I jumped in line while our friend Dathan headed to the restroom. For those of you reading, that may sound like a normal McDonalds trip. Well, this is where it got weird...or at least we thought it got weird. By the time Dathan returned from the can, well over a dozen Amish people had come in.

Before I go any further I should note - I have NOTHING against Amish people. On the contrary, I think they are great - I am just not accustomed to seeing so many - and especially in McDonalds.

Mind you, nobody in the joint batted an eye at this freakishly normal occurence. Friday night = Sundae night for the Amish at the ole Golden Arches. We thought it was odd - but we had to maintain our composure. We were severely out numbered, not just by the Amish - but the Amish supporters.

I got to the front of the line and placed my order. Being a vegetarian I typically order a #2 with no meat. That is 2 cheeseburgers. Some McD's have put vegetarian things on the menu, but Indy (the whole state) is not part of that list - so I make do.

So, my order is placed, and I am casually waiting for my food. The Amish make their way up and order their ice cream - it is really an astounding thing to witness (get it, witness?). The next thing you know, my food is there - but instead of just having it handed to me, the lady shouts...

"Two cheeseburgers...NO MEAT!!!"

There are a fucking dozen Amish people ordering Sundaes and I am the odd one. Everybody turned and looked at me. Music stopped. Glasses hit the floor. Kids were crying - mothers were fainting. Everybody in the entire place was looking at me.

COULD THEY NOT SEE THE AMISH PEOPLE? Sure - there was no meat on my food - but the Amish!!! Hello?!?!?! They arrived in buggies - with horses!!!

Well - needless to say - we ate quickly and left before there was a riot or a lynching - or worse.

Oh Wal-mart

2006-11-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

The whole episode was so surreal...I am going to do my best to explain it and get the quotes right...just know that the event I am explaining is ENTIRELY true.

My best friend in the whole world came to visit me over the long weekend (sometimes called Thanksgiving). He hadn't yet seen our new house so this was a pretty good opportunity. On Thursday we had to get a few things from the store - and since the rest of the world was closed we had to go to Wal-mart.

The trip was somewhat normal...given the weird small town that I currently reside in. The store was not too full - and not all the folks looked like crazies. That's a bonus!

Anyhoo - we were in line and the girl a few spots ahead of us looked a little out of place. I should clarify - she looked out of place perhaps for Franklin on Thanksgiving...so she was wearing a short denim skirt, gray-ish/brown-ish tights, white lace-up Ugz and a large white furry coat. This outfit is NOT crazy - I understand that - but given the circumstances I can see how it was odd.

OK - well, the man in front of Ron and me in line was apparentley more offended by the outfit. He turned his massive barrel chested body around to the two of us and said, "Did you see what she was wearing? I mean, that is crazy. I ain't never seen an outfit like that except on girls on the TV in Califor-knee-I-A." (This last part was spoken as if to say - he was watching his TV in his living room and the actors were in Cali - not that he was actually in California.)

Ron and I did our best not to crack up as this man would have crushed us if we had upset him. We nodded and made idle remarks about the outfit and prayed that he would turn around and go back to his business. He did.

But...then he turned around and said "I mean this is Indiana, this is fucking corn country. You know what I am saying?"

This time nodding did not suffice. He really wanted verbal affirmation to his question. He stared...and waited...and stared...and waited until I finally muttered, "yeah, Indiana." He smiled and and said a few things under his breath as he proceeded move forward in line.

It was a moment later...the same moment...that Ron and I looked down and finally saw what he was buying. It was a 5 pack of underwear. That was it. On Thanksgiving he made the trek to Wal-mart to buy underwear...and nothing else. Now - don't get me wrong - I am not faulting the man for buying underwear, I am not faulting his beliefs on the girl's outfit, I am not faulting her outfit - I don't want anybody to be the bad guy here. I just wanted to share with everybody what it is like to shop at Wal-mart on Thanksgiving in Franklin, Indiana.

O Tannenbaum

2006-11-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

The annual hunt for the Christmas tree; loved by many, feared by all – and yet completely necessary to fully partake in commercial Christmas. Before I go any further with this – I should make one thing clear – as clear as the crystal icicle catching twinkle lights on my Christmas tree – I LOVE commercial Christmas. For those of you that know me – I have just perhaps told you something as obvious as "Hi-Def really does look better." The Christmas songs come out immediately after Halloween. The decorations make their way out of the closet within a week of All Saints Day. I completely skim over Thanksgiving (I am only thankful for the day off) and move right into commercial Christmas. Now that I have made that clear I can continue with the story.

In my part of the world people hunt for the tree (typically) the day after Thanksgiving. I appreciate this day for this task. It keeps me out of the stores on Black Friday, which can be overwhelming, and it allows the tree to be up for a good amount of time without drying out. Thanks to Clark Griswold, we all know the dangers of a dry tree.

For the past three years Amy and I have cut down our own tree at a tree farm just outside of Bloomington, IN. They were never able to tie the tree to the roof, so we always ended up squeezing it into the car and getting home reeking of pine and sap on our sleeves. This year we had to find a farm that was closer – and it had to have Frasier firs (Charlie Brown trees according to my sister in law). This is not as simple as it sounds – but commercial Christmas cannot happen without a tree, and a tree is not worth having unless it is a Frasier.

After much "interweb" surfing and some phone calls we found a place that was not too far. We were told the Frasier selection was slim as most people don't like to pay for them – but we were willing to take a chance to save driving hours with a tree crammed in the car. We hit the road with smiles on our faces, Bing Crosby in our ears and the vision of the perfect tree in our minds.

Thanks to global warming it was about 65 outside – so there was no need to bundle up – which makes the process just a little easier although in a sick and twisted way, not quite as enjoyable. Regardless of weather, Amy and I trudged up and down the rows seeking the symbol of Christmas. The selection of Frasier firs was slim…very slim. But we pressed on. We didn't want to "settle" on a tree that wasn't perfect, but our ornaments were begging to get out of the box – so we knew we had to act quick.

Finally I spotted it. It looked perfect. Not too full, not too symmetrical, not too tall – just perfect. The trick is that Amy and I rarely agree…at first. Although our vision might be similar, when it comes to the details we both get quite picky. I had to tread carefully with this tree. I did not want to push her into a decision. I had to let her think about it, look at the tree for all angles – find the "good side" and the "bad side." She had to debate the tree in her head and I had to just stand back and let it happen. It is a delicate process – and it can determine the entire season.

As I lingered a couple of rows over I saw her warming to the idea of the tree I had found. I watched her carefully as she tested the needles and sized up the tree. Finally she turned to me and nodded. She didn't cave, I didn't push it – she just saw it. I was ecstatic that we were on the same page. I just knew that this tree was going to be great – I knew that it was going to be one for the ages.

Well, we tucked the tree in our cart and pushed our way up to the register. We picked up some extension cords and light bulbs too. The tree cost slightly more than we had planned on, but the cost will surely balance out over the years.

It's funny…we went to Menards to look at a kitchen sink on our way to the tree farm– and we unexpectedly ended up leaving with a plastic Frasier Fir in a cardboard box. The tradition remained intact…the tree rode home inside the car. The only thing missing was the sap. Ah…Christmas.

Unveiling - NYC style

2006-11-07T12:55:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

As you know from my never ending posts - I have recently designed a set for Unveiling and it is running as part of the Havel festival in NYC right now.

I have just recieved the review - and it is glowing. So, if you are in the area - try to see it. If not...well, here is the review anyway.

nytheatre.com review

Ivanna Cullinan · November 2, 2006

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when people redecorate, they need to show off. What happens when a person visits friends for the grand reveal of their new décor and discovers that their next project is him? That's the lot of the hapless Vanek in Vaclav Havel's Unveiling. The Cardinal Stage Company's production of this work at the Ohio Theater is rich with detailed delights and well directed throughout, the laughs abound.

Unveiling can be performed as a humorous commentary on a man marginalized, stuck in his job at a brewery and taunted with the life he could be living; making indirect reference to Havel's own forced work at a brewery under the Czech communist regime. But the text succeeds as a worthy comedy in its own right without contextual overlay and this production revels in its rich, absurd possibilities. Here, repetitions of text are as much comic incantations as they may be code for government sponsored this-is-the-good-life-we offer-you propaganda. The production is a full-on commitment to hilarity and a friendly evening that questions all motivations.

When the slightly baffled and somewhat depressed Vanek arrives at the apartment of Vera and Michael, they present their new look with the fervor of HGTV-addicts. It starts as an enthusiastic display of the finds acquired from various methods, including "when they liquidated a church!" Passionately extolling the artful tension between where they have hung the scimitar above the fireplace in juxtaposition to the gothic Madonna, Vera and Michael have a wondering seriousness that is deliciously absurd. Their behavior rapidly escalates into a praise-fest for each other and a paean to their lifestyle. As the evening rapidly approaches the night-out-from-hell level, they run through rants of parental pride and an excessively candid, hysterically audacious discussion of their sex life. There appears to be no limit to their efforts to engage Vanek to dance, to drink, to come on over to their way of life. All the while these efforts are controlled by the chiming of a (gorgeously hideous) baroque clock. Its chimes and implied commentary seem to goad and divert the efforts of Michael and Vera, somehow organizing the insanity.

All of this mania could devolve into a pleasant but forgettable trifle without the considerable talents of this cast. As played by Diana Kondrat, Vera is a woman who would make Phyllis Schlafly proud. She is buoyant and charming and utterly unrelenting in her persuasive efforts. Her continual pleasant but pointed digs at Vanek's absent wife Ava would be the envy of any sorority girl, as their humorous bitchiness comes from a place of being in Vanek's best interests, of course. Her husband, Michael (deftly performed by Bill Simmons) is the perfect partner for Vera, this smooth operator is her biggest advocate—and in a truly stinging indictment of the perils of Communist repression, a hearty promoter of Swiss pop. The object of all this energetic proselytizing, Vanek, is played with wonderful economy by Mike Price. His politely restrained yet evocative facial reaction when treated to one of Vera's special hors d'œuvres was one of the most beautiful takes I have seen in some time.

Randy White has directed clearly and with a pace that is brisk, excited, detailed, and, even better, never lingers without cause. Production designer Gordon Strain has done fine work in creating a look which requires very few pieces but fits together so well that objects to which the characters only refer to verbally seem visible. Although all of Amanda Bailey's costumes are perfectly character-specific and communicative, a special mention must be made of the black and green short/skirt piece which adorns Vera. It is a stunning combination, evoking '70s chic with an Eastern European flair that is almost worth the price of admission by itself.

Although after seeing this Unveiling, you might pause when considering the next social invitation, do not pause when considering whether or not to see this show. Catch it while you can!

Cliche

2006-11-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

And her name shall be Maggie!!!

I know it sounds cliche - but it is true. So I am just going to say it - and get it out of the way.

The picture is AMAZING - it is like the players are IN my living room. Seriously.

After much debate and MANY patient years Amy and I purchased our new TV. It is a lovely 37" LCD. We did the consumer reports - we ended up with a Magnavox (#2 in CR for the size). Amy was fairly sure that she only wanted a 32" - but thanks to the helpful persuasion of some friends we got the next size up.

I have named her "Maggie" - she is the newest member of my family. For those of you that know me, you know that TV is hugely important in my life - which is why there was so much time and effort put into this decision.

But, Maggie is home now. She is settling in pretty well. She will soon be hanging above the fireplace. I just need to finish getting the hanging bracket up - but she is comfortable for now. Cayuga is taking to her pretty well - all things considered. It must be hard to be an only child (dog) and then all of sudden a new bundle of joy comes home - but he is OK so long as there is a lap to sit on. And...thanks to Maggie - there might be more lap available then ever before.

I am very excited for this week of television. Almost all of my favorite shows are broadcast in HD. I cannot wait to see them. So far we have just watched the Colts/Pats game - but we were both blown away. Amy LOVED seeing the grass on the field.

So, Maggie, welcome to our home. Make yourself comfortable. Get ready to work hard. I am glad that you are "Engery Star" and use so little power, it makes me not feel so bad about having you on a lot.

And for all you friends out there - you are welcome to come over and meet Maggie. We might even have a party in her honor. Yay!

Oh - and my sister in law and my dear friend Matt are engaged!!! Congrats to them. I am almost as excited for that as I am for Maggie!!!