Back by popular demand...

Yes, I am once again watching DWTS. I was going to skip my predictions this year because…well…to be honest I wanted to quit while I was ahead. I have been fairly successful for the past few seasons and you just hate to mess that up. It’s always better to go out on top, right?

Unfortunately for me (fortunately for you) a number have emailed asking why I haven’t done my predictions yet. Well, dear readers, for you I’ll do just about anything. So – before the result show tonight but after seeing the first two (three) nights of dancing – here they are.
Before I start I should note that I did indeed go to the live show this past year as a birthday gift from Amy. It was awesome. Also – I have heard the rumors about Cheryl and Drew. I will make no comment on that...it’s their business.

So – in no particular order – the dancers (and their partners):

Penn Jillette and Kym Johnson – poor Penn. He is huge. Absolutely huge. He is like the size of Dr. Frankenstein’s creature. Kym is tiny…in case you’ve never seen her. I worry that the size issue is going to be a problem for them. Penn is certainly excited to be on the show and I think that he will work hard, I just don’t think it will last for more than a few weeks. He is too awkward. This makes me feel awful for Kym who, after winning in Australia, has been cursed with “bad” celebrities in America.

Steve Guttenberg and Anna Trebunskaya – hurm…Steve Guttenberg, eh? Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, Short Circuit – at least he is finally doing something worth while. This should be (I hope) quick. Most people smile when they are dancing, but not Steve. Steve counts, forcefully.

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska – so this is new (in case you haven’t heard the promos) – an NFL player that is actually an active player. Although I think that some people are willing to argue that the Dolphins are not really active. Anyway, he and Edyta seem to click and I think he has potential to do well, although I don’t think he will do nearly as well as Emmitt or Jerry (Rice). When do football teams start preseason?

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke – who? Whatever. He’s OK. I don’t know who he is. Cheryl is clearly the celebrity here. Go Cheryl. I don’t see them in the finals…but they might hang on for a few weeks.

Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough – I love Julianne. Adam Carolla is a funny man with perhaps one of the most annoying voices. This pairing is a little creepy to me. Adam is sort of like a dirty old man. Julianne is a beautiful young woman. Draw your own conclusions. Anyway, the dancing, sorry Julianne. This will be over soon. No three-peat victory for you. I think that the producers did this to you on purpose. I just hope we get to see you for a while. Maybe Apollo or Helio will come back for a cameo (beyond just watching).

Mario and Karina Smirnoff – final three. I have no idea who he is, but he is a good dancer, good smile and seems to be willing to work hard. We already know that Karina is super competitive and does well with people named Mario. I think that the will do very well.

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough – please go. I am tired of seeing Shannon on the poker circuit – I don’t think that she acts anymore, right? Derek, Derek, Derek. For as much as I love your sister, I cannot stand you. Sorry. I bet that you are probably a really nice guy, and the judges say that you are a great choreographer – but you bug me. This pair is middle of the road. Shannon will continue to work hard, but I don’t think they have the connection and “couple charisma” to win.

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez – I will not make any deaf jokes. As for people with disabilities – I appreciate that they can be on the show. Unfortunately I do not think they can win. That is not to say that Marlee is not a good actress, because she is. I think she is probably a good dancer, too. I just think that to win she needs to hear the music That being said – I’m not a dancer, so I really have no idea.

Priscilla Presley and Louis van Amstel – Louis came out of “retirement” for this…and I would probably do the same thing. Priscilla is a legend. She is actually a pretty good dancer, too. She is the oldest competitor in the history of the show. I really was pleasantly surprised with her Fox Trot in the first week. I think that she will pretty well. She’s not going to win, or make it to the finals…but she will have a strong showing.

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Tony Dovonlani – I think that the will do OK. Tony is a great teacher and Marissa has great stage presence. Marissa also seems to be having loads of fun. So I think they will make it far into the competition.

Monica Seles and Jonathon Roberts – sadly I think that Jonathon is also a great teacher – but Monica just cannot cut it. She is certainly competitive and fit enough, but she doesn’t appear to have the grace or the fan base compared to some of the other celebrities. I don’t think they will make it very far.

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas – this ouple is top three as well. By my count I have two couples in the top three. It is clear that Kristi is leaps and bounds ahead of the other dancers. Her skating must have done something right. Her only big drawback to winning this season is her partner. I know it is not his first season…but he still seems so green.

So there you have it. Those are my thoughts for this season of DWTS. Tom and Samantha are their usual selves as are the judges. I did no watch the spinoff show, but fortunately it did not seem to spike Bruno and Carrie Anne’s egos past what they already were.

I am hoping for plenty of Kenny Mayne and Jimmy Kimmel this season.

Tattoos?

iFanboy - ink.

BEST. BLOG. EVER.

First - I should say that I write a weekly column for iFanboy. It can be seen each and every Friday. That is (perhaps) while this blog has been so sparse recently.

Second - today the funniest/saddest thing happened to me. However, my editor has deemed it inappropriate for the blogosphere. Sorry. It was really fucking good, too.

Maybe when something "tamer" happens I can put it out into the public eye.

ps - don't bother asking, either.

...and a lack of real spice in your life...

July 4, 1998 – I sat in the 10^th row for the Spice Girls concert at Darien Like in Buffalo, NY. I drove nearly four hours to get there and most of that was through severe weather. As a matter of fact we were concerned that the concert might be canceled because the weather was so bad. Fortunately the weather gods eventually sided with us and the concert happened. I was there with my friend Patrick and we were surrounded by thousands of screaming 10 year olds – and their parents. And yes…Geri Halliwell (aka Ginger Spice) bailed on that tour – dropping out of the Spice Girls just before they came to America.

February 15, 2008 – Amy, my sister and I went to see the Spice Girls on the backside of their 2^nd world tour at the United Center in Chicago. With Victoria leaving Spice (and the majority have kids) this will be the last time all 5 girls perform together. My ticket was nearly double the price this time. Normally that would concern me because to live up to a $130 ticket ($75 last time) – it better be a good show.

So – how was the show? Spice-tastic! Spice-errific! Spice-gasmic. The show was absolutely incredible. I should go ahead and preface with all of you that are not fans of Spice – they are amazing entertainers. That is VERY different than musicians, at least in my book. A nice and simple introduction to the Spice Girls would be to watch “Spice World” – the movie that they released in 1997. It certainly incorporates their music, but much like Beatles movie, you get an interesting glimpse into their individual personality and humor.

Translate that to a live show. It is not a concert, it is a performance. The scenery was amazing. The set was a simple runway with a playing area on each end, loads of traps and some levels towards the back (which included the band). The set was actually quite reminiscent of the productions of Chicago we did at FC last year. I thinking about suing…anyway, the design also included these gigantic monitors that moved and danced almost as fluidly as the girls. They went up, down, split, forward, backward and they had AMAZING resolution. Very impressive. If you’ve been on the internet – you’ve probably heard about the costumes that were used for the show. Spice Girls partnered with designer Roberto Cavalli and marketed through Victoria’s Secret. Well – they were fun and exciting.

The show was scheduled to start at 8. In my head I figured they would be on about an hour and that we would be strolling out of the United Center by 9:30. Well, they actually started by 8:30 (shocked me) and played until almost 10:15. Wow! And they were high energy the entire time. There were some breaks for costume changes, etc., but we were entertained my amazing backup dancers.

They opened with Spice Up Your Life and closed with a Wannabe/SUYL medley that were both sung over the Humpty Dance bass line…sadly I don’t think a lot of the audience really knew the Humpty Dance, and that was surprising.

The two awkward moments in the show involved the Mels. At one point Scary (Mel B) strapped a male audience member to her “machine” and simulated sexual acts with him. Shortly after that, Mel C was severely groped (almost inappropriately) by one of the backup dancers. I guess they were making the point that they have grown up. The sweetest moment was when Scary, Baby and Posh’s kids all came out during Momma I Love You. It was oddly touching – and something that I presume hasn’t happened in every show. But maybe they have…I will just pretend that we were special-er.

I am waffling about talking about the rest of the audience. I don’t want to come off as rude, or insensitive. I guess I will just say that being surrounded by this group was an experience. It was very different than the show 10 years ago. In all aspects it was different. Better. So – maybe I’ve said too much. If you want to know more, you know where to find me.

People of the world…
(now you say – “Spice Up Your Life”).

iFanboy

...and my first official post on the new site...

Check it.

http://www.ifanboy.com/content/articles/Please_allow_me_to_introduce_myself___

Lots of things to talk about…little motivation to talk about them.

First things first – I recently turned 30. I am still deciding whether that is a big deal or not. If you had asked me when I was in my teens – I would have said that 30 was OLD. Maybe even really old. However, actually being 30 doesn’t seem that crazy. As a matter of fact – I just spent the last 45 minutes playing Guitar Hero 3 on the Wii. I guess that saying is true – “you are only as old as you act.” Of course, my lovely students still remind me daily that I am indeed OLD when I make some reference and they have no idea what I am talking about.

*sigh

Anyway, Amy got me tickets to Dancing with the Stars (the tour) for my birthday. We were in the 2^nd row. It was incredibly exciting to be there in person. I will say that had we been sitting in the nosebleeds it probably would not have been as enjoyable. But we weren’t and it was amazing!

The next day Ronald came to visit – and apparently I had a surprise party that night. The plan was to go duckpin bowling – which we did. However we did it with 25 other people. Looking back there were many clues that I let slide – but when push comes to shove – I was surprised. It actually really pisses me off that I was surprised (I am slipping in my age) – but the party was loads of fun.

We rounded out the weekend by taking the Wii to my parents’ house. I’ve never seen my mom laugh so hard. Not that I need to be a commercial for the Wii – but it is pretty great. In a lot of ways it is the great equalizer. People who are not adept at button pushing still have a chance, people who play a lot can still be evenly matched, etc.

Since then my winter term class is over and second semester has started. I am fairly excited about the classes I am teaching this semester – and I am VERY excited not to have an overload.

In other news I went to a healer the other night. For those of you that don’t know (and I have no idea who reads this) I have been sick for the past 9-ish years. I like to call it my personal plague. Anyway, I have seen many doctors, many specialists, taken many medicines all to no avail. So I go to this Native American healer and have a seat in her kitchen. She puts her hand on my knee (knowing absolutely nothing about me – not even why I am there) and proceeds to rattle off every symptom and problem that I have. I will refrain from getting personal on this blog – but let me just say that she got everything dead on. It was amazing. She also gave me some ideas on how to fix my sickness – sans medications.

I am still in shock and amazement at the way that she was able to know so much about me without asking. She just simply put her hand on my knee and started talking. I was not skeptical going in. As a matter of fact – since no doctor has been able to help me – I figured I had nothing to lose by seeing a healer. (side note – healers don’t charge – it’s their calling). So I was willing to listen and hope for the best. I was not at all prepared for the experience that I had. But this really isn’t the forum to talk about it.

And that is my life right now. Not terribly exciting – but I am OK with this pace for a few days. And I think it is safe to say that things will pick up soon. Like next week.

What? I have a blog?

Where have I been? That’s a good question – and in fact I wish I could give some fantastic and exotic answer. Like – “Oh, I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging, I’ve been saving merpeople in Atlantis,” or “yeah – I’ve been working with gorillas in the African jungle.” But the fact is I don’t have a great answer like that.

I’ve been busy. I know – we are all busy. I’m not busier or more special than anybody else. We are all busy and nobody has time to do things like “blog.” So here I am forcing myself to write this update so that maybe I can get back on a schedule.

Since my last blog I have opened and closed Oliver! Actually – I think the day after I wrote my last blog I headed off to Bloomington and stayed there until the show opened right before Christmas. It was a lot of work, that show. Some might even say too much work. In the end it was a successful show. Although I need to strongly rethink whether I do any more holiday shows.

After that I was neck deep in all the family holiday hoopla – and that seems to never stop. I love my family – I really do. But I have a breaking point – and there is only SO much time I can spend with them – especially when trying to split that time between two families. But, I survived the holidays, just as I survived Oliver! so it must not have been as bad as I thought.

This year is my first time winter term. That means that I started working again on January 3, teaching freshman about Graphic Novels. It is an interesting and exciting concept for a course – we are looking at 5 books and the movies that were made based on the books. We are also examining the influence that comics are starting to have on Pop Culture – a point that we can argue if you wish.

Anyway – I just recently went to Milwaukee with some of my theatre students for the American College Theatre Festival (ACTF). Let me tell you something – Milwaukee is a great city…in the summer. Milwaukee in January is pretty much on the bottom of my list. I mean – it’s not THAT bad – but it is cold. And (according to Britnee, my waitress at Yaffa) all that people do it drink until it’s warm again. That might be the way to go for some people – but that’s not how I roll. Next year ACTF is in Saginaw – a city I fear will be worse than Milwaukee in January. w00t!

Next week is my birthday. Ron is coming into town. Should be an exciting time…assuming he’s not too swamped with work stuff!!! He’s also going to work with my class on Monday (yes I have to teach on MLK day). That’s how FC rolls.

So, that’s all you get for now. I apologize for this blog being so dry and boring. I cannot promise anything – but I will try to make it better for next time. Enjoy the rest of your week!