Friday, December 1, 2006


For some reason I was reminded of this little incident today - and I thought that I would share it with my loyal readers. That way - when I get published - you can say you knew me when...

I was headed to Canada to see some plays at the Stratford festival. We were hoping to make good time on the way, so we decided to eat fast food on the way up - rather then stopping for food that we might actually enjoy.

We were some where in Northern Indiana - I really don't know where - but it was up there. We saw a McDonalds - and a gas station - so we decided the fates were with us and we stopped for a double fill.

My friend Leslie and I jumped in line while our friend Dathan headed to the restroom. For those of you reading, that may sound like a normal McDonalds trip. Well, this is where it got weird...or at least we thought it got weird. By the time Dathan returned from the can, well over a dozen Amish people had come in.

Before I go any further I should note - I have NOTHING against Amish people. On the contrary, I think they are great - I am just not accustomed to seeing so many - and especially in McDonalds.

Mind you, nobody in the joint batted an eye at this freakishly normal occurence. Friday night = Sundae night for the Amish at the ole Golden Arches. We thought it was odd - but we had to maintain our composure. We were severely out numbered, not just by the Amish - but the Amish supporters.

I got to the front of the line and placed my order. Being a vegetarian I typically order a #2 with no meat. That is 2 cheeseburgers. Some McD's have put vegetarian things on the menu, but Indy (the whole state) is not part of that list - so I make do.

So, my order is placed, and I am casually waiting for my food. The Amish make their way up and order their ice cream - it is really an astounding thing to witness (get it, witness?). The next thing you know, my food is there - but instead of just having it handed to me, the lady shouts...

"Two cheeseburgers...NO MEAT!!!"

There are a fucking dozen Amish people ordering Sundaes and I am the odd one. Everybody turned and looked at me. Music stopped. Glasses hit the floor. Kids were crying - mothers were fainting. Everybody in the entire place was looking at me.

COULD THEY NOT SEE THE AMISH PEOPLE? Sure - there was no meat on my food - but the Amish!!! Hello?!?!?! They arrived in buggies - with horses!!!

Well - needless to say - we ate quickly and left before there was a riot or a lynching - or worse.

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