Monday, November 27, 2006

Oh Wal-mart

The whole episode was so surreal...I am going to do my best to explain it and get the quotes right...just know that the event I am explaining is ENTIRELY true.

My best friend in the whole world came to visit me over the long weekend (sometimes called Thanksgiving). He hadn't yet seen our new house so this was a pretty good opportunity. On Thursday we had to get a few things from the store - and since the rest of the world was closed we had to go to Wal-mart.

The trip was somewhat normal...given the weird small town that I currently reside in. The store was not too full - and not all the folks looked like crazies. That's a bonus!

Anyhoo - we were in line and the girl a few spots ahead of us looked a little out of place. I should clarify - she looked out of place perhaps for Franklin on she was wearing a short denim skirt, gray-ish/brown-ish tights, white lace-up Ugz and a large white furry coat. This outfit is NOT crazy - I understand that - but given the circumstances I can see how it was odd.

OK - well, the man in front of Ron and me in line was apparentley more offended by the outfit. He turned his massive barrel chested body around to the two of us and said, "Did you see what she was wearing? I mean, that is crazy. I ain't never seen an outfit like that except on girls on the TV in Califor-knee-I-A." (This last part was spoken as if to say - he was watching his TV in his living room and the actors were in Cali - not that he was actually in California.)

Ron and I did our best not to crack up as this man would have crushed us if we had upset him. We nodded and made idle remarks about the outfit and prayed that he would turn around and go back to his business. He did.

But...then he turned around and said "I mean this is Indiana, this is fucking corn country. You know what I am saying?"

This time nodding did not suffice. He really wanted verbal affirmation to his question. He stared...and waited...and stared...and waited until I finally muttered, "yeah, Indiana." He smiled and and said a few things under his breath as he proceeded move forward in line.

It was a moment later...the same moment...that Ron and I looked down and finally saw what he was buying. It was a 5 pack of underwear. That was it. On Thanksgiving he made the trek to Wal-mart to buy underwear...and nothing else. Now - don't get me wrong - I am not faulting the man for buying underwear, I am not faulting his beliefs on the girl's outfit, I am not faulting her outfit - I don't want anybody to be the bad guy here. I just wanted to share with everybody what it is like to shop at Wal-mart on Thanksgiving in Franklin, Indiana.

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